July 16, 2018 at 2:01 am #771
Modern society is in turmoil. People do not know what to lean on in their lives. They are not able to determine life values and priorities, since for many today absolute truth does not exist at all. Everything for them is blurry and relative, there is nothing eternal and lasting.
Our society is undergoing changes, and this seriously affects many modern families. The course of life accelerated, in the maelstrom of vanity, people forget about ethical and moral values, about the principles and principles without which a happy, happy life, bringing joy and blessing, is unthinkable.
The book you hold in your hands will reveal to you the principles of a happy family life. They were given by God and therefore will never lose their relevance. They are unchangeable for the ancient inhabitants of the earth, and for us living in the computer age. Building your own family happiness is possible only on a firm basis – on Christian values.
The author considers various aspects of family relationships from the point of view of Holy Scripture, a reliable source of wisdom tested by time. God, who created us in His likeness, as no one else knows our inner world, our needs and needs. We can only follow his wise counsel and guidance and enjoy a truly fulfilling life.
1. The atmosphere in the family
A good home is the best school for both young people and adults. Samuel Smiles
The society consists of families and is what his spouses do. The family is the heart of the nation. The future rise or decline of the country is conditioned by the character and moral image of the new generations. If young people are vaccinated with morality, self-control and self-control, they will have a positive impact on society. If they are left without education and control, as a result of which they become willful and intemperate, then the consequences will also be relevant. The habits and principles that today form among young people reflect the state of society in the future. The influence of a poorly organized family spreads everywhere and has a disastrous effect on the whole society. It spreads through the streams of evil, affecting families, society and government.
Importance of the rules
Since early childhood, a person needs a reliable barrier that would protect him from the evil and mistakes of this world. Each family needs to have their own rules, and parents have a way of communicating with each other to give children a living example of what they want them to see. It is necessary to constantly take care of the purity of speech and to show courtesy. Teach children and young people self-respect, sincerity before God, teach to remain faithful to principles that will guide their lives and incarnate in communication with others.
Children who listen to these instructions will be ready to take responsibility for their actions and by a good example and instruction they can constantly help others to act fairly. They will correctly appreciate their natural talents and will find the best application to physical, mental and moral forces.
The relationship of the parents largely determines the atmosphere of the family, and if there are disagreements between the father and the mother, the children become infected with this spirit. Therefore, try to create in your home an atmosphere of touching care for each other. A house can be modest, but it should always be a place where words of encouragement are uttered and good deeds are performed, where politeness and love are constantly present.
The most important thing is love.
Lead household chores with wisdom and love, but not with an iron rod. Children will readily obey the rules of love. Praise them whenever there is an opportunity. Make their life as happy as you can. Keep the soil of the heart soft, showing love and affection, thus preparing it for the seeds of truth. Remember that the Lord sends to the earth not only clouds and rain, but also beautiful soft sunlight. Do not forget that children need not only censure and correction, but also in encouragement and praise, in affectionate, kind words.
We need to make every effort to make the house a family hearth in the full sense of the word. The family should become a piece of heaven on earth, a place where we can express our feelings without fear that they will be crushed by rudeness. Our happiness depends on how much we will show love and sympathy for each other.
Family ties are the closest, most tender and most sacred bonds on earth. They are called to be a blessing to mankind. And they become a blessing wherever the marriage is made intelligently, in accordance with the will of God, with due understanding of the spouses of mutual responsibility.
The family, which is adorned with love, sympathy and tenderness, is a place where angels like to be and where
God is glorified.
Honesty before God is to fill the house. Parents and children need to learn to cooperate with Him. They have to adjust their habits and inclinations in accordance with God’s plans, unite to serve the One who lovingly and nobly can preserve human love.
The influence of the family
The family, whose members are courteous and well-bred people, have a beneficial effect on others, helping them to follow a good example and guarding themselves against bad influence. The angels of God will often visit the house in which they follow the will of God.
Our time in this land is short. We are given only one way of life in this world, so we will try our best. The work to which we are called does not require wealth, a special social status or outstanding abilities. It requires goodwill, a spirit of self-denial and a firm purpose.
If we open our hearts and house doors for the Divine principles of life, then we will become channels through which the life-giving force will flow.
None of us, living in this world, can not but exert a certain influence on him. None of the members of the family can close themselves in such a way that the family does not feel its influence and spirit. The very expression of his face produces an influence to good or to evil. Words, actions, attitude of a person to other people speak for themselves. If he lives a selfish life, he is surrounded by a depressing atmosphere. But if a person is full of love, he will be polite, kind, gentle with others, things will be done with care and joy, radiating happiness.
Let there be more joyful people. We are too often locked in ourselves. Too often we deprive children and those around us of a kind inspiring word, a kind smile.
The main thing is for the family to be friendly. Then our influence will affect those who are next to us, and will extend further. The world needs not so much in great minds as in good people, which are a blessing for their families.
2. The origin of the family
The family should become a piece of heaven on earth.
The Garden of Eden, in which our forefathers lived, was prepared for them by God Himself. Putting into it everything that only a person could wish, God said: “Let us make man in our image, and after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26).
The Lord was pleased with this His last and most remarkable creation and wanted man to be a perfect inhabitant of the perfect world. But it was not His intention that a man should live alone. The Lord said: “It is not good for a man to be alone; I will make him an assistant, according to him “(Gen 2:18).
God himself gave Adam a companion of life, equal to him, who could become his friend, answer his love and sympathize with him. Eve was created from a rib taken from Adam; this meant that she could not rule over him as the head of the family and was not subordinate to him as a subordinate, but was on an equal footing with him so that he loved and protected her. Being a part of a man, bone of his bones and flesh from his flesh, she emerged as his second self, creating with him a close alliance and nourishing to him the tender affection inherent in these relationships. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife; and the two will be one flesh “(Genesis 2:24).
God blessed the first marriage. Thus, the author of this institution is the Creator of the universe. Marriage is one of the first gifts God has given a man, and one of the ordinances that Adam, after the Fall, carried with him beyond the gates of paradise.
When people accept the Divine principles of marriage and obey them, marriage becomes a blessing for them; it helps to protect the moral purity and happiness of the human race, it satisfies public demands and elevates a person in all respects.
Adam was surrounded by everything his heart could only desire. Every need was satisfied. There was no sin, no sign of withering in the beautiful Eden. The angels of God freely and tenderly communicated with the holy couple. Man was the most beautiful creature of the Creator.
Adam was commissioned to take care of the garden. If the happiness of man consisted in inactivity, then in his state of holy innocence he would remain unemployed with no work. But He Who created man knew that work could make him happy.
God in the first place
Nothing has overshadowed the communication between Adam and Eve with God. They knew Him as their merciful Father, and their will was in every way conformed to God’s will. The character of God was reflected in the character of Adam. God’s glory was manifested in every creation of nature.
Those who make God first in their families and teach their children to love Him glorify God before angels and people, presenting the world a well-organized, disciplined family. Christ will not be a stranger in such families. Angels rejoice in a house where the supreme ruler is God and where children are taught to respect religion, the Bible and their Creator.
Only the presence of Christ can make people happy. Christ can turn the water of life into a heavenly wine. Then the house becomes like a paradise, and the family – a wonderful symbol of the heavenly family.
3. Home cosiness
A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems short. Andre Maurois
Parents not only have to carefully preserve the future happiness and interests of their children, but also make their family home as attractive as possible. This is much more important than buying things and accumulating money. The family should not lack lack of joy. Feelings related to the family should be carefully stored in the hearts of children, so that they remember the home of their childhood as a place where, like in heaven, peace and happiness reign. And then, becoming adults, they will become a support and a consolation for their parents.
The best place on earth
The house should be made for children the best place in the world, and the most attractive in it is the presence of the mother. Children are sensitive, loving natures. They are easy to please and just as easy to upset. By softly handling, words and deeds in which love is manifested, mothers can win the hearts of their children.
Cleanliness, neatness and order are a prerequisite for successful household management. But if the mother makes ordering the main duty of her life and devotes herself entirely to creating comfort, not having enough time to give proper attention to physical development, mental and moral upbringing of children, she commits an unfortunate mistake.
Trying to avoid unnecessary embellishments and all flashy, we should in no case be inattentive and indifferent to our appearance. Everything that has to do with our appearance and our home should be neat and attractive.
Order in the house
God does not like disorder and indifference; It is unpleasant for him to see lack of zeal. These shortcomings are serious defects that threaten to separate the husband from his wife in case the husband, unlike his wife, loves order, disciplined children and a well-organized house. The wife and mother can not make the family consonant and happy, if she does not keep order, behaves unworthily and is not able to manage the house well; so anyone who stumbles in these matters should pay special attention to this.
In many families, the wife does not have time to read, get the necessary information to communicate with her husband and follow the development of children. Her strength, time, interests are gradually absorbed by hard domestic work. Too late she notices that she is becoming a stranger in her home. Precious opportunities, once given to her so that she could influence her dear people and make their life more sublime, remained unused and were irretrievably lost.
Let the keepers of the hearth decide to follow a more wise plan. Let it be your main goal – to make your home a pleasant place. Use tools that can facilitate work and maintain health.
All the work that we need to do, whether it’s washing dishes, caring for the sick, cooking or washing, has a moral meaning. A simple, in your opinion, work is also necessary for someone to do; and he who fulfills it must consider that it is necessary and honorable.
What can I do to make my home an attractive and pleasant place?
4. An Important Solution
The family is our refuge and our springboard. Strengthened by it, we can reach new heights. Alex Haley
If you do not want your marriage after the wedding to turn into a miserable sight, then you should without delay make it a subject of serious, thoughtful reflection. No one can so quickly destroy the happiness of a woman, make her life unbearable, like her own husband; no one can do a hundredth part in order to cool the hopes and aspirations of her husband, paralyze his strength and negate his influence and prospects, as his own wife. The day of marriage is the point from which many men and women count their successes or failures and with whom they relate their hopes for the future. Marriage is something that affects and affects your whole life in this world and in the future.
God created a woman to be a companion and assistant to a man, was one with him, encouraged, inspired and blessed him and that, in turn, was her reliable support. Those who enter into a marriage relationship with the holy goal – the husband, in order to find the pure disposition of the woman’s heart, the wife, in order to soften and improve the character of her husband – fulfill God’s intention for them.
Christ and marriage
Christ did not come to destroy, but to restore the institution of marriage to its original holiness and heights. He came to restore the moral image of God in man, and began his work with the fact that he approved marriage relations.
Divine love, coming from Christ, never destroys human love, but embraces it. Thanks to this, human love becomes refined and pure, sublime and noble. Human love will never bring forth a precious fruit if it does not unite with the Divine and will not be directed upward to grow for Heaven. God wants to see happy marriages, happy families.
Like all other good gifts that God entrusted to people, marriage was corrupted by sin, but the goal of the gospel is to restore its purity and attractiveness. The Lord wants the family to become the happiest place on earth, the symbol of the heavenly family.
School of Life
The first year of living together is the year of accumulation of experience, when a husband and wife learn different properties of each other’s character, just as a child learns new things in school. Let in this first chapter of your family life there are no pages that will cloud your future happiness.
In your life-union of affection, both husband and wife should serve for the happiness of both. Each of you should do everything possible for the happiness of the other. This is the will of God for you. But when you unite in one whole, each of the spouses should not lose their individuality, dissolving in another. Your personality belongs to God. You must ask Him: how can I best fulfill the purpose for which I was created?
To understand what marital relations are, you have to live a lifetime. Those who marry go to school, which they will not finish in this life. However discreet and prudent the marriage may begin, it is seldom possible to meet a couple who would be united in everything when the marriage ceremony is still being performed. The true union of two people united in a marriage is formed during the following years.
When a young family faces everyday difficulties and adversities, the romance into which the imagination so often encapsulates the marriage disappears. The husband and wife recognize the characters of each other as they could not recognize before. This is a critical period in their life together. The happiness and success of the whole future life depends on whether they can now choose the right path. Often they notice in the partner previously unknown weaknesses and shortcomings; but hearts united by love will also distinguish dignities that were not recognized before. Let the spouses seek to identify advantages, not disadvantages. Often our personal attitude, the atmosphere surrounding us, determines what we see in others.
Marriage is the beginning of love
Although first difficulties, misunderstandings and obstacles may arise, neither husband nor wife should admit that their union is a mistake and a disappointment. Make a decision that you will be for each other all that you can be. Continue to give each other as much attention as they did before. Support each other in everything, fighting in the life struggle. Try to make each other more happy. May you enjoy mutual love and condescension. And then marriage, instead of becoming the end of love, will be, as it was before, its beginning. Everyone needs to study patience diligently. Showing kindness and restraint, you can keep true love, warming the heart.
Watch your speech carefully, because it has a powerful influence on good or evil. Do not allow harsh words to break from your lips.
Manifestations of love
Many people consider the manifestation of love to be a weakness and preserve behavior that repels others by suppressing the disposition. If friendly noble motives are restrained, they can disappear completely with time, and the heart will become devastated and cold. We must beware of this error. Love can not exist for long if it does not appear. Let the heart of one who is connected with you by marriage, does not suffer from a lack of kindness and sympathy.
Let everyone give love more than it requires. Develop in yourself the most noble traits and hurry to recognize good qualities in each other.
Consciousness of what you are appreciated is an excellent stimulus and brings satisfaction. Empathy and respect encourage the pursuit of excellence.
The reason that there are so many heartless people in our world is that true attachment is regarded as a weakness, and a person feels bewildered and depressed.
Caring for each other
There are too many worries burdens our families, and there are too few natural simplicity, peace and happiness in them. You need to think less about what the outside world is doing, and take more care of loved ones. Family members should show less ostentatious, pretended politeness and much more tenderness and love for each other. Many need to learn how to make the house an attractive, joyful place. A grateful heart and affectionate gaze is more valuable than wealth and luxury, and satisfaction with simple things will make the family happy if love reigns in it.
Love should be manifested in views and manners, in how we talk with loved ones.
The Presence of God in the Family
Without mutual indulgence and love, no earthly power can keep a husband and wife in the bonds of unity. Your relationship in marriage should be close and affectionate, exalted and filling your life with spiritual power, so that you can be all one to another, as the Holy Scripture demands. When you reach the state that the Lord wants for you, you will feel like you are in heaven, and see the presence of God in your life.
People can achieve the ideal that God has ordained for them if they make Him their Helper. What human wisdom can not do, will accomplish His grace for those who trust Him in love. God’s providence can connect hearts with ties of heavenly origin. The heavenly machine weaves the base more subtly and at the same time more firmly than the earthly machines, creating a canvas that will withstand all the trials and tribulations. The hearts will be joined by the golden bonds of love, which has no end.
5. Love and cooperation
Where the Spirit of God reigns, there will be no talk of incompatibility in marital relations.
Two, connecting their vital interests, have different characters. After the wedding, they have to perform duties that they did not have before.
The Bible claims that the head of the family is the husband: “Wives, obey your husbands.” If this command ended with these words, then one could say that the position of the wife is unenviable; Further this decree says: “… as to the Lord.”
God has endowed man with reason, and the individuality of a woman can not be absorbed by the individuality of her husband. It would be wrong to believe that she should blindly and unswervingly obey everything her husband tells her when she knows that this can harm her body and spirit. There is One who is immeasurably taller than a husband. The wife must respect her husband. The husband, in turn, must love and protect his wife. We read: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh towards them.”
Neither husband nor wife should try to dominate. Both must maintain a spirit of cordiality, deciding never to upset or wound another.
Do not try to force the partner to do everything the way you want, and obey your desires. In doing so, you can not keep love for each other. Manifestation of self-will destroys peace and happiness in the family. Let your married life be saved from endless conflicts. If you act recklessly, both of you will be unhappy. Be kind, patient, withstood and attentive.
In family life, men and women sometimes behave like undisciplined, stubborn children. Everyone insists on his own, and no one wants to yield. This can lead to great misfortune. Spouses should be willing to accept the approach or opinion of the other. In the family there will be no happiness, while both will insist on their own.
How can a husband and wife differ in their views about their family life and at the same time be connected with each other by strong bonds of love? They need to unite their interests in everything that concerns their family. The warmth of the home is an invaluable wealth. If one is mistaken, let the other show patience and not turn away with an offended person.
Everything that can overshadow the peace and unity of the family should be resolutely suppressed, and instead show kindness and love. One who manifests a spirit of tenderness, patience and love will later discover that the same spirit returns to him.
Our house is our fortress and our refuge, protection from violence and rest. Edward Cock
The first house of our grandparents was to serve as a model of housing for their children, when they settle everywhere and fill the earth. This house, decorated with the hand of God Himself, was not a magnificent palace. People rejoice at the cumbersome and expensive structures and are proud of the deeds of their hands; but God placed Ddma in the garden. It was his home. The blue sky was the dome of his house; The land with its exquisite flowers and carpet of living greens was the floor; The thick foliage of beautiful trees served him as a tent. The walls of the paradise house were magnificent, magnificently decorated with the hand of the great Master. This should serve people a lesson at all times, teaching that happiness is not gained by indulging pride or gaining luxury, but in communicating with God through His creation.
Jesus came to this earth to accomplish the greatest work that man has ever undertaken. He came as God’s Messenger in order to show us how to live to achieve happiness. What conditions did Almighty Father create for His Son? A secluded house in the Galilee mountains; family, supported by honest, self-respecting work; simple life; daily struggle with difficulties and adversities; self-sacrifice, thrift and persistent joyful service; hours of study of the Scriptures, conducted with the mother in the unfolded scroll; the silence of sunrise and twilight in the green valley; holy service to nature; meditation on creation and providence and fellowship with God – such were the conditions of the life of Jesus Christ in the early years of His life.
Proximity to nature
Life in cities is full of false values and artificially created conventions. Passionate desire for profit, stirring up turmoil and craving for pleasures, craving for ostentation, luxury and extravagance – all this moves huge masses of people, turning their minds away from the true purpose of life. This has an almost insurmountable effect on the youth. One of the most sophisticated and dangerous temptations, lying in wait for children and young people in the cities, is a passion for pleasures.
The urban environment is often dangerous to health. The constant need to get in touch with sick people, polluted air and water, cramped, unhealthy living conditions are just some of the problems that a city dweller faces.
It was not God’s intention that people should accumulate in cities, crowding in houses and rented premises. First He placed our ancestors among beautiful landscapes and sounds, and He wants it to please us today. The closer we are to the original plan of God, the more we have the opportunity to find a healthy body, mind and soul.
It is desirable that the house had a garden and children would help to look after it, which will be both entertainment and useful work for them. Classes with plants and flowers contribute to the education of refined taste and the development of intelligence, and acquaintance with useful and beautiful God’s creations has a purifying and ennobling influence on the mind.
No one can succeed in agriculture or horticulture without knowledge of the laws associated with these industries. It is necessary to study the characteristics of each plant species that require different care and treatment. The attention given to young plants when transplanting, when pruning and watering, when protecting from the cold at night and from the sun in the daytime, when weeding weeds, fighting plant diseases and harmful insects, in the formation of fruit trees and the establishment of order on the site, lessons necessary for the development of character, and, in addition, labor itself is a means of improving the personality. Developing in himself diligence, patience, attention to detail, obedience to the law, a person receives very important training. Constant admission to the mysteries of life and the wonders of nature and, in addition, kindness,
God has surrounded us with the beauty of nature, to attract and interest our mind. He wants the splendor of nature to be associated with His character. If we diligently study the book of nature, we will inevitably come to the conclusion that it gives abundant food for thought about the boundless love and power of God.
The Garden of the Heart
Let the children learn to see in nature the expression of God’s love and wisdom; let their reflections on God be connected with birds, flowers and trees; let all that is visible arouse interest in the unseen and all life phenomena become a means of teaching the Divine truth.
Among countless lessons about the diversity of development processes, some of the most precious are found in the parable of the Savior about a growing seed.
The germination of the seed represents the beginning of spiritual life, and the development of the plant is an illustration of the development of character. Parents and teachers, trying to teach these lessons, should do it in practice. Let the children prepare the soil and plant the seeds. While working, parents or a teacher can explain to them that the heart is a garden where a good and bad seed is sown and that as a garden must be prepared for the natural seed, so the heart should be prepared for the seed of truth. No one sows to the unprocessed land in the hope that over time it will yield a harvest. A hard, laborious work is necessary to prepare the soil, sow the seed and grow the crop. The same must occur in spiritual sowing.
If there is such an opportunity, it is good to choose a house outside the city so that children can cultivate the land. Let each of them have their own piece of land; and when you teach them how to plant trees, how to prepare the soil for seeds and weed the weeds, then teach them also that it is necessary to remove bad habits from your life. Teach them to deal with bad inclinations, as they struggle with weeds in the garden. It will take time to teach them this, but it will be generously paid for.
The works of nature are the silent servants of the Lord given to us in order to teach us spiritual truths. They tell us about the love of God and proclaim the wisdom of the great Artist.
How can I make my home more attractive to my children, a place where they would be willing to be?
7. Home Improvement
In the world, a person can have a million transshipment points, but only one nest. John Ruskin
God loves the beautiful. He has beautified the earth and the heavens and with fatherly joy observes how we admire the works of His creation. He wants the beauty of nature to surround our homes.
Furnish your house with simple things that are easy to handle and that are easy to keep clean and can be replaced without much expense. By showing taste, you can make the simplest house attractive, if love and joy reign in it. The simpler the order of a well-organized house, the happier the family will be.
How to Lose the Joy of Life
Life brings disappointment and fatigue to many people, because they burden themselves with unnecessary labor to meet the requirements of the world. They are constantly worried about how to meet the needs generated by fashion. Expenditures, worries and forces are spent on what, if not causing obvious harm, is still superfluous. People passionately desire what they call luxuries, and they sacrifice health, strength and resources to acquire them. The word “house” is distorted, and its meaning is interpreted as “something limited to four walls and filled with elegant furniture and ornaments,” while its inhabitants are in constant tension, wanting to meet fashion requirements in various spheres of life.
People become unhappy in their family life, if they pay all attention only to appearance. They spend a lot of money and work hard to impress and gain the praise of acquaintances – those who are not really interested in them or their welfare at all. One after another things are bought, as if necessary for household use, expensive decorations and furnishings that delight the eye, amuse pride and ambition, but in the slightest degree do not add comfort to the family.
Many in the world nourish affection for things that, perhaps, are good in themselves, but, limiting themselves to this, people do not strive for the greater and higher good that the Lord desires to give them.
Those who are fond of things, lose the joy of life. They come to the conclusion that all this property is not able to satisfy them, as they expected. An endless cycle of affairs and relentless anxiety about how to decorate the house in order to arouse admiration among the guests and strangers – wasted time and money. A person voluntarily hangs on his neck a slave yoke, which is so hard to bear.
To create coziness, cleanliness and order are necessary, but these virtues should not be built to such an extreme that life becomes endless and tedious work, and family members would have a miserable appearance. Strict precision in the placement of furniture and things is as unpleasant as disorder. Painful scruples about the cleanliness and order that is maintained in the house, deprives people of the rest needed by everyone who wants to be truly a happy family.
When we come to visit close friends, we are unlikely to be pleased to see a broom and a rag in the hands of the hostess and not like it if instead of the communication that we expected to enjoy, our friends in front of our eyes will start a general cleaning and will spend time looking for dust or cobwebs in the corners. Although they can do all this out of respect for us, it is painful to realize that friends value our society less than the purity of their own home.
Ease of furnishing
A cozy house should not be overly furnished at all. Well-lit and ventilated rooms are more important than the most expensive decorations. Let instead of leading to despondency severity in the furnishings a pleasant variety is observed. Armchairs or chairs should be adapted for the convenience of each member of the family. Everything should be neat and attractive, but without that rigor in the arrangement, which as if warns you: do not touch anything.
Excessive rigor and orderliness of the situation, which is an unpleasant feature of many houses, does not agree with the great plan of nature. God did not command that the field flowers should grow on flower beds of the right form with curbs installed, but He scattered them like precious stones on the turf, and they decorate the earth with a variety of shapes and colors. Trees that grow in the forest are not in the right order. For the joy and peace, it’s best to contemplate the pictures of nature, forests, hills and valleys, plains and rivers, enjoying the endless variety of shapes, lines and colors that turn trees, shrubs and flowers into a natural garden, making the landscape fascinating. Children, young people and the elderly can find peace and satisfaction here.
This law of diversity can be followed to some extent in the family. In the interior of the dwelling there should be a harmony of colors and a general correspondence of objects; but it is not at all a sign of good taste that all objects in the room environment are identical in design, material and upholstery; on the contrary, it is more pleasant for the eye to have a harmonious variety.
But be it a modest or refined house, with a rich or poor environment, there will be no happiness in its walls if the spirit of its tenants is not in harmony with God’s will. The house should rejoice. It does not require a luxurious environment and an expensive environment, so that children feel happy and happy in their own home, but the main thing is that parents gently love children and tirelessly take care of them. Four walls and furniture do not make the family “home”, if there is no mutual understanding and love in it.
Simplicity, kindheartedness and true affection will make paradise the most modest home. It is better to bear the inconveniences of a home briskly, than to lose peace and joy.
Prayer for two
Lord, before your house becomes ours, make our house yours. Amen.
8. Become a parent
Anyone who does not want to trouble himself with the upbringing and education of children should not have them. Plato
A house without children is an empty house. Its inhabitants are in danger of becoming selfish, cherishing the love of their own freedom and reckoning with their desires and benefits only. They are located primarily to themselves and to a lesser extent – to others.
Egoism, which manifests itself in various ways, depending on the circumstances and characteristics of the character, must be eradicated. When there are children in the family, the mind encourages the adults to abandon themselves and take care of them, instruct them and be an example for them. When the two create a family and they do not have children who encourage patience, endurance and true love, they need to constantly stay awake so that selfishness does not get superiority and they do not become self-centered and do not demand attention, caring and interest, that they should be given to others. Many are sick physically, mentally and weakened morally due to the fact that their attention is focused almost exclusively on themselves. They can be removed from the state of stagnation due to the healthy love of life and the indomitable energy of children.
The empathy, patience and love that are required in dealing with children will bring blessing to every home. They will soften and subdue the characters of those who need to be more joyful and calm. The presence of the child in the house makes the atmosphere pleasant and clean. The care and affection shown to the children, dependent on us, remove rudeness from our nature, make us loving and compassionate.
Children are entrusted to their parents as a precious asset that God will one day demand from their hands. We must educate children, giving them more time and care and giving more correct instruction.
Your sons and daughters are the younger members of God’s family. He entrusted them to your care so that you would educate and train them for the sky. You must report to Him in the way you fulfill your sacred duty.
Number of family members
Parents have to take care of the future of their children. For their sake they have to work to provide the family with everything necessary.
Taking into account the responsibility imposed on the parents, one must carefully weigh whether the mother has enough strength to take care of the children, whether the father will be able to properly educate and train them. How few parents sometimes think about the fate of a child! God wants parents to act reasonably and lead a way of life in which each child would receive proper upbringing. The husband and father must take care that the wife and mother of his children do not bend physically and morally under an excessive burden and do not become discouraged.
Parents have the right to think about increasing their family only if they are sure that their children can get good care and education. They must discuss in advance what they can do for their children. No one has the right to bear children, doomed to become a burden to society. Do the parents have the means to support the family without burdening others? If not, they commit a crime, giving birth to children, forced to suffer from a lack of care, food and clothing. Those who can not take care of their family should not have children.
The physical and mental condition of the parents is passed on to their offspring. This is not given proper attention. If parents have habits that are contrary to the laws of health, the harm they cause their body will affect future generations. Very much depends on the parents. Their lives determine whether their children will be a blessing or a curse.
The nobler the aspirations, the higher the mental and spiritual abilities and the better the physical development of the parents, the richer will be the life baggage that they will give to their children. By improving all the best that they have, parents influence the formation of society and the progress of future generations. Parents should erect barriers that protect them from the sensual indulgence of this century, which destroy the physical and moral health of thousands of people. If we reveal the true cause of many crimes now committed, it turns out that it lies in the ignorance of fathers and mothers who show unpardonable indifference.
Parents who do not give children proper education, both in word and example, will have to answer before God for the consequences.
The consequences of these will not only affect their children. They will be passed on from generation to generation. Just as one thistle bush grows left to grow on the field, so the results of your neglect will have a detrimental effect on everyone who finds themselves in the sphere of his influence.
Overcoming the law of heredity
Fathers and mothers can often observe their own traits in children. Often these lessons are unbearably difficult for them if they see their imperfections in their sons and daughters. Trying to suppress and correct in their children hereditary inclinations to evil, parents should show special patience, perseverance and love.
When a child shows negative character traits inherited from his parents, do they have to get excited about the fact that their offspring displayed their own shortcomings? No and no again! Parents should carefully monitor themselves, beware of any rudeness and harshness, so that these shortcomings are no longer manifested in children.
Show kindness by talking with your own children. Always remember that they inherited stubbornness from their father or mother. Be lenient towards children who have adopted your personality traits. And rely entirely on God to correct the evil inclinations that have been passed on to your children.
Fathers and mothers, be patient! Often your former negligence complicates the upbringing of your children. But God will give you strength if you rely on Him. In dealing with children, show wisdom and caution.
9. How to preserve the unity of the family
The family circle should be considered a sacred place, a symbol of the sky.
Each family is a sacred circle, a fortress that must be guarded against extraneous intrusion. Husband and wife should be all for each other. A wife should not keep from her husband any secrets that she shares with others, nor should her husband have secrets from his wife, which he tells outsiders. In the heart of the wife must be buried the faults of the husband, and in the heart of the husband – the faults of the wife. Spouses should never allow themselves jokes that could hurt the feelings of another. The husband and wife should never even joke to complain to one of the acquaintances against each other, as such, as it might seem, a completely innocuous banter, will bring both only troubles and, perhaps, even alienation.
The family must be considered a sacred place, a symbol of the sky, a mirror in which we see our reflection. Friends and acquaintances should not interfere in family life. Spouses should be firmly convinced that they are wholly owned by each other, which gives them a sense of freedom, peace and trust.
Take care that the spirit of disagreement does not penetrate the family. If you strive for unity, disagreements will be eliminated and love will reign in the family. Husband and wife should remember that they can go forward, not dooming themselves to an unhappy life because of the arising contradictions. Those who admit even insignificant differences, admit the forces of evil into their home.
The secret of unity
The reason for disagreement and discord in families and in society is separation from God. Getting close to God means getting closer to each other. The secret of true unity lies not in diplomacy, nor in coping with problems or in superhuman efforts aimed at overcoming difficulties, no matter how great they are, but in unity with Christ.
Look at the wheel. From the edges to the center of the set of spokes. The closer they come to the center, the closer they are to each other. The same is true in the Christian life. The closer we come to Christ, the nearer we become to each other.
The family business should go smoothly, just as a well-regulated mechanism, consisting of many different details, works.
Every member of the family is obliged to realize that he has the responsibility to create coziness, order and organization in the family.
No one should interfere with the other. Everyone should jointly take part in a good deed, encouraging one another. It should be soft, mature and patient, speak in a quiet, calm voice, avoid misunderstandings. Each family member should understand that the family needs to act together. Everyone, starting with a six-year-old child, needs to know what is required of them so that they can contribute to the family business.
10. First child’s school
The educational influence of the family is the determining force for good or for evil.
In His wisdom, the Lord determined that the family was the greatest educating force. The education of the child must begin in the family. This is his first school. Here, with the assistance of his parent-mentors, he must learn the lessons that will guide his whole life-lessons of attention, obedience, respect, and restraint. The educational influence of the family is the determining force for good or for evil. In many cases, it has a hidden, gradual effect, but, directed to the right direction, it becomes a far-reaching force for the determination of truth. If the child does not receive proper instruction in the family, then evil will educate him at his own discretion. How important is the school of the family!
Perceive the family as a school in which you prepare your children for their duties in the family and society.
A sad fact, causing almost universal recognition and regret, indicates that home education today is in disregard. There is no more important field of activity than that which is entrusted to the founders and leaders of the family. No case entrusted to people, does not entail such serious, far-reaching consequences, as the matter of fathers and mothers.
The current youth and children determine the future of society, and who these children will become depends on the family. The lack of proper upbringing is the main cause of the diseases of society, suffering and crimes, which are a curse for humanity. If the family life was properly built and the children leaving the care of their parents were prepared for everyday concerns and dangers, what a change would happen in the world!
Pay attention to your children.
Parents should not allow problems related to work, urgent business, customs, habits, pursuit of fashion deprive them of the opportunity to pay due attention to their young children, which in future would make it impossible to properly educate them when they become older.
The main reason for the unprecedented revelry of evil in the world these days is that parents are least likely to think about what is most important – how patiently and benevolently to teach their children to follow the way of the Lord. If the invisible man were revealed, we would see that very many children who have strayed from the right path were deprived of good influence because of the parents’ negligence. No matter, no matter how important it may be, should not prevent you from teaching children.
What rewards will you reap for your efforts? You will see that the children are on your side, that they are ready to support you and cooperate with you in the directions that you are offering.
Parents should spend more time at home whenever possible. With the help of instruction and examples, they are required to teach their children to be intelligent, sociable, loving. Bringing in them diligence, thrift, self-denial and providing them with support in the family, parents can provide them with a safe and desired refuge from many dangers.
Mother almost continuously communicates with children, especially at a very early age. She must always be their mentor and friend, to teach the children to cleanliness and order, in order to form their right habits and tastes; educate them hard-working, able to rely on their own strengths and be useful to others, so that they live, act and work as if they were always in the eyes of God.
Biblical rules are given so that they are guided by everything – both parents and children. God’s prescriptions should be our first priority. Uncover the Word of God and sincerely ask: “What does God say?”
Parents have a responsibility that no one else can take on instead of them. While they are alive, they answer before God for the safety of His path. Fathers and mothers are responsible for the health of their children and the harmonious development of their physical and moral qualities. No one else should be engaged in this business. Parents who make the Word of God their guide and understand how strongly the shaping of the character of their children depends on them, will set an example that their children can follow scrupulously.
How sad that many fathers and mothers refuse God’s responsibility for them towards their children and want to be carried by strangers for them! They want others to work for their children and release them from any burden in this matter. Many of those who are often upset by upsetting the disobedience of their children should only blame themselves.
What is more important for me: to acquire material goods or to help my children in shaping their character?
11. Friendship in the family
It is better to tie your children with bonds of respect and tenderness than with fear. Terence
Some parents do not understand their children and do not really know them. Often there are serious disagreements between parents and children. If adults tried to understand their children’s feelings as best as possible and find out what was in their heart, it would have a positive impact on children. Father and mother should become friends of their children. It is necessary to use all the favorable opportunities to win the love and trust of children and lead them along the right path.
Trust in parents
The babies love friendly fellowship and are rarely satisfied, being left alone. They long for sympathy and kindness. What pleases me, it will be pleasant for my mother, “they believe, and, naturally, go to her with their little joys. Do not hurt the sensitive heart of the baby, remaining indifferent to what you think is a trifle, but is of great importance to him. Your sympathy and sympathy are priceless. An approving look, words of inspiration and praise illuminate his heart like sunlight, and make everyone in the house happy.
Encourage the children to trust you and share their sorrows, small everyday troubles and worries. Gently instruct them and open your heart to them. This is a critical time for children. They experience various influences that threaten to separate them from you and which you must counteract. Try to make them your confidants.
Children would avoid many dangers if they were in closer relations with their parents. Parents should encourage them to be open and sincere with them, to come to them with their difficulties and seek help from them, when the children are puzzled, trying to make the right decision, telling their parents the problem the way they see it, and asking their advice. Who else can see the danger that lies in wait for the children, and point them at it like non-loving parents? Who else can so understand the characteristics of the nature of children, but not them? A mother who follows the development of children from infancy is familiar with their natural inclinations and therefore can give them the best advice.
If you have little time
“No time,” says the father, “I do not have time to educate my children, there is no time for social and family joys.” Then you should not assume responsibility for the family. Refusing children in time, which rightfully belongs to them, you deprive them of the upbringing they must receive from you. The father, together with his mother, is obliged to work on shaping the character of the child.
Many mothers complain: “I do not have time to be with my children.” Then, for God’s sake, spend less time on yourself. You can neglect dresses, makeup, going to visit, preparing a variety of dishes. But never, never neglect your children. Let nothing arise between you and your children.
Burdened with a lot of worries, the mothers sometimes realize that they can not find the time to patiently instruct the children, can not show them love and compassion. But they should remember: if children do not find in their parents and families what can satisfy their thirst for empathy and communication, they will turn to other sources where their mind and character can be endangered.
Give children several hours of free time, unite with them in their affairs and entertainments, gain their trust, seek friendship with them. Postpone the worries, misunderstandings and troubles of the past day and dedicate the evening to your family.
Conflict of generations
Parents and teachers who over-prescribe and command too many are in danger because they find it difficult to establish friendly relations with their children or students. Often adults behave too restrained and display their authority in an unfriendly, repulsive manner that can not win the hearts of their children and students.
If adults had already teamed up with children and showed them that they loved them, participating in all their endeavors, and at times even being likened to the child, they would thereby win the love and trust of children and helped them become happier. And children would be more willing to respect their parents and teachers and love them.
Between parents and children there should be no barriers, no coldness and secrecy. Parents need to strive to penetrate the inner world of their children, understand their tastes and inclinations, their feelings and desires. Let your children see that you love them and do everything in your power to make them happy. If you do this, then your requirements will mean a lot to them. Manage your children with tenderness and participation.
Children growing up under a wise and loving leadership will not want to leave home in search of pleasure and communication. The spirit that dominates the family will shape their character; they will acquire habits and principles that will become their support and protection when they leave their home and take their place in the world.
12. The power of love
Love is the key to home happiness.
Love has power because it has a divine origin. A mild answer that “turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15: 1), a love that “longsuffering, is merciful” (1 Corinthians 13: 4), “covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4: 8) -to which lesson we would learn by virtue of such a healing power, if in our life this gift was manifested! How would life have changed! These precious lessons are so simple that they can be learned by even children.
From the generally accepted point of view, money is power; but from a Christian point of view, love is power. In this principle, mental and spiritual forces are involved. Pure love has a special power to do good and can do nothing but good. It prevents disagreement and suffering and brings true happiness. Wealth often spoils people and leads them to perdition; force can cause harm; but truth and kindness are the properties of pure love.
Peace, harmony, love and happiness must be nurtured day by day. The plant of love requires careful care, otherwise it will die. Any good principle needs to be guarded if we want it to flourish in the soul.
Envy, jealousy, bad assumptions, slander, intolerance, prejudice, selfishness, greed and vanity should be eradicated.
Children are just children
Do not treat your children harshly, forgetting your childhood and the fact that they are just children. Do not expect that they will immediately become perfect, and do not require them to act as adults. Parents should not forget their childhood years – how passionately they yearned for sympathy and love, how unhappy they felt when adults cursed and punished them in a fit of irritation. They should revive their childish feelings in the soul and descend to the level of children’s thinking in order to understand the needs of children.
Children need good, encouraging words. How simple it is to say cordial, sincere words that will light a sunbeam in the hearts of the kids and help them to forget all the woes!
Parents, love your children: love them in infancy, love them in childhood, love them in your youth. Do not frown your brows in their presence, but always be joyful.
Balance between love and discipline
Help the children to win. Grow them in an atmosphere of love. So you can overcome their stubbornness and self-will. You should always let your children know that you love them and work for them, that their happiness is dear to you and you intend to do only that which serves them for good. You can satisfy their small needs whenever they find it acceptable.
In dealing with children, never act under the influence of a rush. Let authority and affection be combined with each other. Protect and encourage all good and attractive in your children. When you deny them that they can harm them, try to let them know that you love them and want to make them happy.
The less attractive a child, the more it is necessary to show caress and love to him. When the child is sure that you want to make him happy, love will destroy all the barriers between you. This principle was guided by Christ, communicating with people; We must follow this principle.
Many families do not express feelings of relatives to each other. There is no need for sentimentality, but all need expressions of love and tenderness – in small courtesies, cordial words, careful attention. Attachment must always be maintained in the relationship between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters. Avoid rash words; do not even make a hint that someone does not love the other. It is much better to be pleasant to others, to speak kindly.
The love that parents show, sincerely caring for children and properly educating them, to a weak extent reflects the love of God for us.
How do I express my love for children?
13. Field of hearts
Our house is the main field on which we are called to work.
The Lord entrusted the parents with a solemn, sacred work. They must work in the field of hearts. God expects from them that they will carefully and carefully cultivate the garden in the souls of their children, sow a good seed and resolutely remove any weeds. It is necessary to correct every flaw and flaw in the character, because if left, they will tarnish its beauty.
In the world, a tendency prevails that young people are allowed to follow natural inclinations. And when their extreme bad behavior manifests itself, the parents say that this is okay – they will settle down after a while and when they are sixteen or eighteen years old they will make the right conclusion about themselves, leave their previous inclinations and will finally be useful people. What an error! For years, parents have allowed false principles to evolve, and in many cases all labor for the treatment of these grown up children turns out to be in vain. They will show the character that their parents allowed them to form.
Young people should not be allowed to learn everything indiscriminately, relying on the fact that sometime in the future good will prevail and evil will lose its influence.
Evil will progress faster than good. Perhaps, many years later, vices will be eradicated; but who can vouch for this? It is easier and safer to sow a clean, good seed in the hearts of your children than to fight weeds later. The concepts rooted in young minds are difficult to destroy. It is important, therefore, that their representations are correct and the flexible abilities of the young are directed in the right direction.
Sowing and growing
In the early years of a child’s life, it is necessary to carefully prepare the soil of his heart, then gently sow the seeds of truth and carefully look after them. And God, who rewards all effort made for His sake, will give life to this seed; first there will be greens, then an ear, then a full grain in the ear.
If the field is left untreated, soon we will necessarily have weeds, which will be very difficult to destroy. Therefore, the land needs to be treated and the weeds are weeded out before the plants can grow. If parents do not care about sowing a precious seed, and they hope to collect precious grain, they will be disappointed, for reaping thorns and wolves.
It is necessary to exercise tireless vigilance and care for our children. Since their birth, evil has begun to work on their characters and will, using a variety of tricks. Their safety depends on the wisdom and constant care of their parents.
14. Promises for Parents
If parents follow the Divine instructions in the upbringing of their children, they receive help from above.
God observes you with love and understanding, ready to hear your prayers and provide you with the help that you need. He knows the burden of every heart and is the best Friend in all extraordinary circumstances. His eternal hands support us. When Jesus was on earth, He had a mother who struggled with poverty, experiencing numerous worries, worries and difficulties. Today He sympathizes with every mother in her worries and troubles. The Savior, who undertook a long journey to relieve the restless heart of a woman whose daughter was possessed by a demonic spirit, will hear the prayers of the mother and bless her children.
He who returned the widow of her only son, when he was being buryed, is touched today by the grief of a mother who has lost loved ones. He who shed tears of compassion over the grave of Lazarus and returned to Martha and Mary their buried brother, Who forgave Mary Magdalene, Who remembered His mother, when he suffered in agony on the cross, Who appeared to the weeping women and made them His messengers, the glad tidings of the risen Savior – He is today the best Friend of a woman and is ready to help her in all worldly circumstances.
She can lay down her burden at His feet and gain in His presence a force that will support her and give her courage, hope, courage and wisdom in the most difficult hours. How sweet it is to be aware of the mother’s exhausted worries that she has such a Friend who can help her in all her difficulties! If mothers came to Christ more often and trusted Him more, their lives would become easier and their souls would find peace.
You can not properly educate your children without the help of God.
When parents follow the Divine instructions in the upbringing of children, they receive help from above. Teaching them, they learn by themselves. Their children will gain victory through the knowledge of the will of God.
Parents, do you work with unflagging energy for your children? The Heavenly Father marks your diligence, your efforts and constant vigilance. He hears your prayers. With patience and tenderness, bring up your children for the Lord. All Heaven is interested in your work. God will unite with you, crowning your efforts with success.
When you try to explain the truths of the gospel to the children and point them to Christ as their Savior, the angels will be near you. The Lord will grant fathers and mothers grace so that they can interest their children with a wonderful story about the Infant from Bethlehem, who truly is the hope of peace.
In carrying out their important work, parents should ask for Divine help, and they will receive it.
Even if the characters, habits and customs of parents were not formed on a better pattern, if the lessons they received in childhood and adolescence, led to a wrong development of the character, then they should not despair. The conversion power of God can transform inherited and acquired propensities, for the religion of Christ exalts.
If you call, the Lord will answer you. He will say: “Here I am; What do you want me to do for you? “The sky is connected to the earth in such a way that every soul can fulfill its work. The Lord loves children, and He wants them to be brought up with an understanding of their high calling.
Without human efforts, divine efforts are in vain. God will act with power when parents realize the responsibility that lies on them and will try to properly educate their children. He will cooperate with those parents who, feeling their dependence on Him, carefully and prayerfully raise children.
Human efforts alone will not help your children acquire the perfect character for heaven, but with God’s help a great and holy cause can be fulfilled.
Fathers and mothers should consider the main task of all life work aimed at helping their children to improve their character so far as human efforts, combined with Divine help, allow.
15. Position and duties of the father
The father as the head of the family should know how to educate their children, so that they become useful members of society and faithfully fulfill their duty.
God planned that the family – father, mother and children – existed in this world as an unbreakable whole.
To make a family happy is not the task of the mother alone. Fathers also have an important field of activity. The husband is the connecting link of family relations, he is his strong, sincere, affectionate attachment uniting family members, mother and children, forming a lasting alliance.
The husband and father are the head of the family. The wife is looking for his love, participation and help in the upbringing of children; and this is true. Children belong to him in the same way as she does, and he is equally interested in their well-being. Children turn to their father for support and guidance; he must have a correct idea of ??life and know what influence and communication is acceptable to his family. But above all, they must be moved by love, respect for God and His word, in order to be able to lead children along the right path.
The father is obliged to contribute to the creation of family happiness. No matter how hard his cares and deeds are, they should not overshadow the joy of the family; he must come home with a smile and kind words.
True masculinity The
father should not, like a child, be driven by some impulses. “When I was a baby,” says the apostle Paul, “he spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child; but as a man, he left the infant “(1 Corinthians 13:11). The father must realize himself as the head of the family, strive to have a strong character, be able to control oneself. His behavior in family life should be regulated by moral principles. He needs to cultivate diligence in himself, doing everything in his power to support the family. This will cause his wife to respect him.
A man does not prove his masculinity by constantly defending his position as head of the family. Respect for him will not increase if he will quote the Bible in order to support his claims to authority. He will not become more courageous, demanding from his wife, the mother of his children, to act according to his plans, as if they are infallible. The Lord appointed the husband to be the head of the wife, so that he was her protector. But God shows his authority in wisdom and kindness. So the husband should exercise his authority.
16. Helping each other
Only by working in harmony, the father and mother can perform the work that God has entrusted to them.
Duty of the father in relation to children can not be shifted to the mother. If she conscientiously performs her duties, then this will be enough for her. Only by working in harmony, the father and mother can perform the work that God has entrusted to them.
A man should not be excluded from participation in the education of his children for life and eternity. He must share this responsibility. There are responsibilities for the father and mother. Parents should show love and respect for each other if they want these qualities to develop in their children.
The husband should encourage and support his wife with an encouraging look and a kind word in her writings and worries. Try to help your wife resolve conflict situations in which she finds herself. Be careful in choosing words, develop good manners, courtesy, kindness, and in due course you will be rewarded.
Do not let the troubles at work overshadow your family life. Whatever the father is doing and whatever the difficulties connected with his work, he should come home with a smile on his face, talking in the same pleasant tone with which he greeted strangers all day long. Well, if the wife knows that she can count on the support of her husband, and his affectionate attitude will give her strength.
We need the spouses to serve each other carefully. There is such a tendency that the husband is free to leave and come home when he wants, behaving more like a lodger than as the ruler of the family circle. Family responsibilities are sacred and important; and yet they are treated with tired indifference, resigned to the ordinary monotony. Numerous worries and difficulties start to irritate, if there is no diversity, change and rest. The life of a mother who occupies a low social position is full of endless self-sacrifice, and she becomes even worse if her husband is not aware of the difficulties that fall to her share and does not support her.
A man should show great interest in his family. Affectionate, joyful, encouraging words are more effective than the most healing remedies. Happiness and light, brought in the family by good deeds and inspirational words, will restore the efforts expended a hundredfold. A husband needs to remember that much of the work on raising children is on the shoulders of his wife, which largely depends on her shaping their mind. This should give him the most good feelings, and he must take care to facilitate her work. He should not come home with a frown, but his presence must bring a light into the family and encourage his wife to rely entirely on him.
Do not be categorical
Many husbands and fathers could get a useful lesson from the story of Jacob. Forced to take an early and difficult journey, he said: “Children are gentle, and small and large livestock I have milking: if you drive it one day, then all livestock will die. I will go slowly, as will the cattle that is before me, and how the children will go “(Genesis 33:13, 14).
Let the husband and father “go slowly” on the difficult path of life, as his close one can do, traveling with him. Living in a world that pursues money and power, let him learn to stop, to console and support the one that is called to go near him.
The husband should help his wife, showing her sympathy and unchangeable disposition. If he wants her to be always cheerful and joyful, that she is like the sunlight in the house, let him help her. His kindness and courtesy, shown with love, will be a precious encouragement for her, and the happiness that he gives her will bring joy and peace to his own heart.
17. What kind of husband should not be
What you need is in love and patience, and to a lesser extent – in determination, to back up your position with word and deed.
Many families have children of different ages, some need not only attention and wise instruction of the mother, but also in the more strict and at the same time friendly influence of the father. Few fathers attach importance to this. They neglect their duty and thus burden the mother with a heavy burden, while at the same time considering themselves entitled to criticize and condemn her actions, based only on her own assessment. Oppressed by a heavy sense of responsibility and persistent censures, the unhappy wife and mother often feel guilty and repents of what she did inadvertently or through ignorance, even when she did the best in the circumstances. And even when her tremendous efforts should be appreciated and approved, a cloud of sorrow and condemnation hangs over her, as her husband, neglecting his duty,
Many husbands do not understand and appreciate the worries and difficulties their wives face, spending all day, as if in prison, in an endless cycle of domestic affairs.
Often husbands come home dissatisfied. If the food is not served on time, then the tired wife, who often in one person combines the duties of housekeeper, nanny, cook and maid, listens to reproaches. A demanding husband can condescend to take a child out of the arms of an exhausted wife and give her the opportunity to feed the family more quickly; but if the kid behaves restlessly at the hands of his father, he does not consider it his duty to nurse him, calm him and console him. He does not think about how much the mother has to endure because of the vagaries of the baby, but impatiently calls: “Hey, Mom, take your child.” Is not this child also him? Does not duty command him to bear part of the burden patiently, raising his own children?
Shadow in the house A
husband and father, who is sullen, self-centered and powerful, not only makes himself unhappy, but also darkens the life of all members of the family. His wife is depressed and unwell, children grow nervous because of his father’s bad temper. Sooner or later he will reap the benefits of this attitude to the family.
If you consider it a weakness to be kind, sensitive and compassionate and think that you drop your own dignity, treating your wife tenderly, sympathetically, with love, then you have the wrong idea of ??true courage and dignity.
The habit of leaving good deeds unfinished is a manifestation of weakness and a lack of character.
What you regard as weakness, God considers true courtesy.
Husbands, give your wives the opportunity to live a spiritual life. Do not expect too much from your spouse and children. Do not judge. If you, keeping a cheerful, cheerful spirit, talk with them in a friendly and affectionate way, then you bring light to your home instead of stormy clouds of grief and unhappiness. Think about your attitude towards your wife. Do you think too much about your own opinion, stick to extremes and do not want the viewpoint of the wife to have weight? Do not you have respect for your wife and do not teach children to respect her opinion? Do not treat her as an equal, but try to take the reins of government into your own hands and keep them with an iron grip? Then you need to develop in yourself tenderness and compassion.
If the husband is despotic, demanding, critical of his wife, he can not win her respect and affection, and marital relations will become hateful to her. She will not love her husband, because he does not want to become her good friend.
Husbands should be caring, attentive, persistent, faithful, compassionate. They must show love and sympathy. If a husband has a noble character, a pure heart, a sublime mind, he will make the family relationship happy.
18. Father and his children
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. The Apostle Paul
Bolipinstvo fathers miss an opportunity to attract their children to themselves and establish a close relationship with them. They should get rid of their critical importance, refuse to indulge themselves in some minor things in their work and leisure hours and unite with children, sympathizing with them in their small misfortunes, tying their hearts to their strong bonds of love. After work, it will be useful and pleasant for the father to spend some time with his children.
A friend of his children to the
Father, having sons, it is necessary to establish close contact with them, share their experience, talk with them simply and friendly, to arrange them to themselves. He needs to show them that he is doing everything for them, for their happiness. Regardless of who a man works for, he should never neglect his children. He gave them life and is responsible for them before God. He has no right to leave his restless sons completely in the care of his mother. It can be very difficult for her to show restraint and to manage wisely the children by educating them. In this case, the father must take great responsibility.
As the head of the family, the father must know how to raise children, so that they become useful members of society and faithfully fulfill their duty. This is his business, which is more important than any other. During the first few years of a child’s life, the formation of his character is entrusted mainly to the mother, but she must always remember that in the matter of education, it is necessary to cooperate with her husband. The father should not be so engrossed in business life or other occupations that he did not have time to study the characters and needs of his children. He must find approaches and opportunities to occupy children in accordance with their diverse abilities and interests.
Fathers, spend as much time with your children as you can. Never a discouraging word should break from your lips. Do not bring darkness into your home. Be kind and affectionate with the children, but not unreasonably indulgent. Let them learn to bear their little disappointments, like everyone else. Do not encourage them to come to you with complaints against each other. Teach them to tolerate each other and try to maintain mutual trust and respect. Combine tenderness with rigor, kindness and compassion with a firm restraint. Devote several hours of your leisure time to children, try to learn them better; do together with them work and sport, gain their trust. Take care of the friendship with them, especially with the sons. So you will have a strong beneficial effect.
Do not go ahead of me, I can not keep up with you.
Do not go behind me, I can not guide you.
Just go near me and be my friend.
19. Mission of the Mother
The king sitting on the throne is busy no more important than the mother.
A woman must occupy a position that God originally defined for her, she is equal to her husband. The world needs mothers who not only in words but also in life. We can say with certainty that certain women’s responsibilities are more sacred than the duties of men. Let the woman be aware of the holiness of her work and educate the children so that they will benefit in this world and become members of the family in a better world.
Children should be taught that they treat their mother not as a slave, who should serve them, but as a queen. She is obliged to manage her house reasonably, preserving her maternal dignity. Her influence in the family must be paramount; mother’s word is the law.
A woman rarely appreciates her work, often considering it a hard and tedious domestic duty. She does the same things endlessly day after day, week after week, without seeing any particular results. At the end of the day, she can not remember the many small things that she managed to do. Seeing the successes of her husband, she realizes that she did nothing worthy of mention.
The man, coming home, often smugly and proudly lists what he managed to do in a day. His remarks indicate that now his wife must serve him, because she did not do anything special, except that she looked after the children, cooked food and tidied up the house, so she was hardly too tired. The husband criticizes, condemns, commands, as if he is the supreme ruler. And all this worries the wife and mother even more, because she is very tired, performing her duties during the day, but she does not see the results, and this leads her to extreme despondency.
If people saw how God assesses the work accomplished in a day, and how His infinite gaze compares what was done by that and another person, they would marvel at this heavenly revelation. The father would learn to assess his work more modestly, while the mother would have the courage and strength to do her work with wisdom, perseverance and patience.
While the father deals with things that inevitably perish and pass away, the mother works for the sake of improving the mind and character of children, not only for this life, but for eternity.
The commission from God
Of all the worldly affairs of a woman, the most sacred is her duty towards children. But how often this debt is overlooked for the sake of satisfying one’s selfish desires! Parents are entrusted with the earthly and eternal interests of children.
Fashion and customs, even when they are bad, have strong power over the youth. If the mother forgets about her duty to instruct, guide and restrain the children, they will naturally perceive the evil and turn away from the good. Tell God in prayer: “Teach us how to raise children and deal with them.” Consult the counsel that God has given in His Word, and you will receive the wisdom you need.
There is a God who is in heaven, and the light and glory from His throne rest on a faithful mother when she tries to teach her children to resist the influence of evil. No other business can compare with her case in importance.
Mother is not called, like an artist, to paint a beautiful painting on canvas or, like a sculptor, to carve a wonderful sculpture made of marble. She is not called, like a writer, to express an excellent idea by the power of a word or, like a musician, to embody a beautiful feeling in a melody. Its task is with God’s help to create a semblance of the Divine in the human soul.
A woman who values ??this assignment will find invaluable the opportunities given to her. She will try to show her children the highest ideal in her own character, using the best methods of education. Patiently and boldly, she will strive to improve her abilities to properly use the highest powers of the mind for the upbringing of children.
Let every mother understand that the moments of her life are priceless, that her business will be tested on a solemn day, when everyone should give an account. Then it will be revealed that the reason for many failures and crimes of people is ignorance and negligence of those whose duty it was to direct the feet of children to the right path. Then it will be revealed that many who blessed the world with greatness of spirit, with truth and holiness, with their principles, influence and success, are obliged to the praying Christian mother.
Instead of plunging into hard homework, the wife and mother should devote time to reading, obtaining the necessary information, communicating with the husband and developing the children’s mental abilities. Use the opportunities that you have to influence your dear people, to make their life more exalted. Take the time to make God your constant companion and close friend. Take time to study His word and go out with the children to nature to learn from God, looking at the beauty of His deeds.
Be kind and cheerful. Instead of devoting all your time to endless homework, make the evening a pleasant time of friendly communication, when the whole family can meet after a day’s work. Many husbands would then prefer their home, not their friends. Many boys would be spared from the streets and podvoroten. Many girls would be saved from frivolous acquaintances. The influence of the family would become for parents and children what God intended, a blessing for life.
20. Mother’s influence
After God’s power, the power of the mother is the greatest power on earth.
The field of the mother’s activity can be modest, but her influence, combined with the influence of the father, is as invariant as eternity. After God’s power, the power of a mother who exerts good influence is the greatest power on earth. It extends through the vicissitudes of this life into a future, eternal life.
The most tender earthly bonds are united by mother and child. The child more readily perceives life and the example of the mother, rather than the father, because they are united by stronger feelings.
The thoughts and feelings of the mother will have a powerful influence on the legacy that she will give to the children. If she focuses only on her thoughts, indulges selfishness, if she is quarrelsome and exacting, then this will affect the character of her child. In this way, many acquire an almost incorrigible propensity for evil. The enemy of the soul understands this much better than many parents. He introduces the mother into temptation, knowing that if she does not resist him, he will be able to influence her child through her. The only hope of the mother is in God. She can resort to Him for power and grace; and her efforts will not be in vain.
During the day, many times a cry sounds from the alarmed child: “Mom, Mom!” In response to these calls, the mother must manage everywhere. If the child is in a difficult situation, a wise mother will help him out. If he is satisfied with some of his invention, he wants his mother to see him, hoping that she will be happy. The maternal word of approval will warm the hearts of children for a long time.
A mother can generously pour on her beloved children precious light and joy. She can draw children’s hearts so much to her that communication with her will be the most desired event for them.
But often the mother’s patience is tested by various minor events. Playful hands and restless legs of children create a lot of troubles and difficulties for the mother. She must firmly maintain self-control, otherwise irritated words may flow from her tongue. When the mother is on the verge of collapse, a silent appeal to God can calm the nerves and make it capable of maintaining self-control, calmness and self-respect. It is necessary to make some efforts to restrain rude words and suppress anger, but if you give it the will, it can destroy the fruits of your influence, and it will take time to reach them again.
Children are acutely aware of and able to distinguish a patient, loving tone from an irritating, harsh order that hurts love and affection in children’s hearts. Try not to alienate children from oneself with irritability, lack of understanding and love.
Mothers should clearly understand that their influence and example affect the nature and fate of their children and, taking into account the serious responsibility, develop in themselves a balanced character that reflects only the true, good and beautiful.
The true value of maternal labor
Even women themselves do not always appreciate their work with dignity. Home duties require patient endeavors, self-mastery, tact, wisdom and sacrificial love; and yet often a woman can not boast of great achievements. She just maintains a normal order in the house. Sometimes tired and confused, she tries to talk with the children affectionately, trying to do something with them, make them happy and guide their little legs to the right path. She thinks she does not do anything special. But this is not so. Celestial angels watch a tired mother, noticing those burdens that she carries day after day. Her name may not be mentioned in the world, but it is recorded with God in the book of life.
Perform your duties with dignity and joy, not including the humiliating to do with your own hands everything you need to do in a well-organized house.
You may think that some other work is more important, but God does not want you to ignore your home, your husband and your children. Do not allow children to develop by communicating with bad people, and hardened their hearts against you, the mother. Most often this leads them to the wrong path. The early years of childhood are a time when you need to work, stay awake, pray and encourage every good inclination. By devoting too much time to some other job, you can not at the same time manage to educate your kids and make them what God wants them to be so they can achieve eternal life. God cares for them; so should you.
21. Overcoming difficulties
Attitude to the circumstances of life characterizes a person.
Many families become unhappy due to the fact that the woman turns with hostility from simple domestic duties of her modest family life. It seems unpleasant things and cares, and what could be performed with joy, pleasure and interest, and also with the benefit for oneself, becomes a heavy and boring burden.
Of course, home life does not always go smoothly. Much of the day experiences our patience and requires strength. Some circumstances we can not change, but it is the attitude to circumstances that characterizes a person. Those who allow circumstances to manage their principles and overthrow them forget about their duties.
If, however, you adequately overcome the difficulties from which others drop hands because of lack of patience and perseverance to persevere in their work, then you not only become stronger, but your experience in overcoming obstacles makes you able to help others with words and personal skills an example. Many people who do their job well under favorable circumstances seem to change their character when misfortunes and trials come; it spoils in proportion to how much trouble falls to their lot. God does not want us to become victims of circumstances.
Very many husbands and children who do not find anything attractive at home and constantly hear the words of discontent are beginning to seek rest and joy outside the home. The wife and mother, occupied with domestic cares, often becomes inattentive and avaricious for expressions of love that make the house a pleasant place for the husband and children, even if she tries not to tell them about her troubles and difficulties. While she is busy preparing food or cleaning, the husband and children come and go as strangers.
Many mothers often waste time on unnecessary trifles. Devoting all their attention and feelings to a temporary and transitory, they do not stop to think about what is eternal and imperishable. How many mothers do not pay attention to their children, and kids grow up rude, ignorant and uncultured!
Seek God’s strength and consolation to fulfill your daily duties, and you will gain respect and trust of your husband and will see that children grow up to be honest people who have the moral power to act fairly. At the same time, mothers who neglect current opportunities and allow their duties to be performed by others will eventually come to the conclusion that responsibility can not be avoided anywhere, and they will bitterly reap what they sowed with carelessness and negligence. In this life there are no accidents; the harvest will be the same as the seed that was sown.
22. Maternal health and its appearance
Health is like good luck – ceases to favor the one who abuses it. Saint-Evremont
Mother’s health needs to be carefully guarded. Often, the husband and father, absorbed in obtaining livelihood, overwhelmed by cares and difficulties, allows the wife to exhaust her strength. In the interests of the family, it is necessary to protect the mother from all unnecessary duties and to use all possible means to preserve the life, health and strengths bestowed upon her by God.
In order to perfectly master yourself, the mother should take every precaution against any physical and mental disorder. Her life must pass in accordance with the laws of health. Since nutrition has a significant effect on the mind and character, the mother needs to be very careful, taking in food what saturates, rather than excites, so that her nerves are calm and the character balanced. Then it will be easier for her to keep patience while dealing with the diverse inclinations of her children.
A mother can and must work hard to learn to control her nerves and reason in moments of depression; even in times of illness she can, if only she accustom herself to this, be pleasant, cheerful and bear more noise than she would like. She should not force children to contemplate her in a state of oppressed spirit, forcing them to think that the house is a grave, and the mother’s room is the darkest place in the world. Mind and emotions are subject to us through an effort of will. Willpower in many cases is a reliable tool for calming the nerves. Do not let your children see you gloomy.
Try to look attractive.
Some wives and mothers probably think that it does not matter how they look when they work at home, where only the husband and children see them, although they dress with a taste to go out. Is the opinion and love of a husband and children not to be assessed higher than the point of view of strangers or friends? The opinion of the husband and children should be more important for every wife and mother than the opinion of all other people.
If mothers allow themselves to wear untidy clothes at home, then they teach children to be just as sloppy. Many mothers believe that any clothes for the house will fit, even if it is dirty and worn. Children compare their mother’s ugly clothes with the clothes of those who always dress neatly, and their respect for her weakened.
Wear clothes that suit you. This will give you greater respect for your children. Make sure that they dress appropriately. Do not let them get used to look untidy.
Try to look as attractive as possible, but not at the expense of jewelry, and putting on clean, well-sewn clothing. So you will constantly teach your children to be neat and clean. Love and respect for children should be the highest value for every mother. The clothes they see on it must teach cleanliness and order and be associated in their minds with purity. Even the youngest children have a sense of harmony, the notion of the conformity of things; and how can they impart the need for cleanliness and accuracy when they see sloppy clothes and uncleaned rooms every day? Order and purity are the law of heaven; and to meet these divine requirements, we are obligated to look neat and attractive.
23. Child before birth
The well-being of a child depends entirely on the habits of the mother.
A woman needs to have a lot of patience to prepare for motherhood. Many parents mistakenly believe that the impact on the fetus in the period of intrauterine development is short and therefore insignificant.
Attitudes and hobbies of people should obey the principles. There are things that the expectant mother should be avoided if she wants to fulfill God’s intention concerning the birth of her child. If, prior to the birth of the baby, the mother indulged her desires, she was selfish, irritable, demanding, these features of her will also be reflected in the character of the child. So many children inherit almost an irresistible attraction to evil. But if a woman is patient and supports the spirit of sacrifice, if she is kind, gentle and disinterested, she can transfer to her child these precious properties of character.
We need to pay more attention to making the environment of the future mother pleasant and joyful. The husband and father have a special responsibility to do everything in their power to alleviate the burden of the wife and mother. He must, to the extent possible, help her in her position. He should be friendly, polite, kind, gentle and especially attentive to all of her needs.
Prejudices concerning nutrition
The notion that women in their special situation can be allowed to eat anything they want is mistaken and based on custom, not on common sense. The appetite of a pregnant woman can be volatile and difficult to satisfy, and the established custom allows her to eat anything, without thinking about whether such food can nourish it and ensure the development of her child. Food should be nutritious, but not stimulating.
It is during pregnancy that women need simple food and special care for the quality of food they eat.
Women, guided by this principle and knowledgeable, will not give up simple food during this period, as at other times. They will remember that the life of the unborn child depends on them, and carefully treat all their habits, and especially nutrition. They should not eat food just because it tastes good. There are many advisers ready to convince them to do what they do not have to do in terms of common sense. Many children are born sick because of the fact that future mothers condoned the appetite.
The physical needs of women in any case can not be ignored. She is responsible for two lives; to her desires one must listen attentively and satisfy her needs. But at the same time, she must first of all avoid what can weaken her physical and mental strength, whether it concerns nutrition or any other issue.
The basis of the correct nature of the child is laid before his birth through strict self-discipline.
Every woman who is preparing to become a mother, regardless of the circumstances, must constantly maintain a cheerful, calm disposition of the spirit, knowing that for all her efforts in this direction she will be generously rewarded with the physical health and quiet balanced nature of her child. But that is not all. She can develop the habit of maintaining an optimistic outlook on life and thus maintaining a joyful state of mind, filling the happy spirit of her family and those with whom she communicates.
24. Caring for young children
The most beautiful necklace that can decorate the mother’s neck is the arms of her child, hugging her. Garcia Matos
The best food of the baby is the one that nature gives him. And this possibility should not be rejected without need. It is heartless on the part of the mother for personal convenience to free herself from the important duty to feed the baby.
The nature of the child depends to a certain extent on the nutrition that it receives from the mother. How important it is therefore that the mother, feeding the baby, try to be joyful and at the same time retain full control over herself. Calm, mature behavior of the mother, when she communicates with the child, will have a good influence on the formation of his mind. If he is nervous and easily excitable, careful, unhurried manner of the mother will have a soothing, corrective effect, and the health of the baby will greatly improve.
Caring for the baby
The calmer and simpler will be the life of the child, the more favorable it is. It affects his physical and mental development. The mother must always
try to be quiet, calm and seasoned. Incorrect treatment of infants is very detrimental to them. ‘ When they are capricious, they are usually fed to reassure. So children are already cradled from the cradle to the fact that they live to eat. Often, the mother makes plans, intending to do certain things during the day, and when the children distract her, she, instead of comforting and amusing them, gives them something to eat, in order to soothe them, and achieves her goal on a short time, but in general aggravates the situation. The stomachs of children are filled with food when they do not need it at all. All that was required in this case is a little motherly attention.
Preparing clothes for the baby, you should give preference to comfort, comfort and health, rather than fashion and the desire to cause admiration. Children need warmth, but a serious mistake, so often committed, is that they are kept in hotly heated rooms, largely depriving fresh air.
The child should be protected from any influence that can weaken his body and harm him. Particular attention should be paid to making everything around him pleasant and clean. It may be necessary to protect children from unexpected or too sudden fluctuations in temperature, but it is also necessary to take care that during the sleep or wake, day or night, they breathe a clean, body-strengthening air.
Care for a sick child
All parents must learn how to take care of children during illness, how to prevent disease and treat a sick child. Especially the mother should know well how to care for a sick child. In many cases, the cause of childhood diseases is improper care. Irregular eating, inappropriate clothing, lack of exercise for proper blood circulation and fresh air for cleansing the blood can lead to trouble. We must try to determine the cause of the disease as soon as possible and then correct the mistakes.
25. The main duty of the mother
Educate your children … and then there will be no need to punish adults. Pythagoras
God sees the potential of the child. He watches with great interest whether the parents will fulfill His plan or, through their inappropriate kindness, cross out His intentions, allowing their child to die for the present and eternal life. The transformation of this helpless creation into a person is a great and important work. Do not let anything prevent you from doing your duty to children.
You may not be a member of the government, but you are able to do a great job for God and your country. You can educate your children, help them improve their character, so that they resist evil and encourage others to act fairly.
Despite impressive achievements in the field of education, the current upbringing of children is in a sorry state. Home education is neglected. Parents, especially mothers, do not understand how important an obligation is assigned to them. They have no patience to instruct children, nor prudence to govern them.
God does not demand anything from us that we could not do because of His power, nothing that would not serve for our own good and for the good of our children.
Use every opportunity to form the habits and inclinations of your children. Carefully observe the development of their character, restraining those traits that are superfluous, and encouraging those that are lacking. Make your life a pure and noble example for children.
With courage and energy, start the upbringing of children, always relying on Divine help in all your efforts. Do not rest until you notice a steady moral growth in children, until their life goal becomes something more than just a desire for pleasure. Above all considerations should be your children.
Take care of every moment of life – they are all precious. Remember that children go ahead and can be out of your influence, disregarding home education and upbringing. Even if you are unsuccessful in everything else, be careful and active here. If thanks to home education your children become good people, then your life can not be called unsuccessful and you have no reason to feel remorse.
Children are the mirror of the mother, in which she can see her own inclinations and manners. How attentive she must be to her speech and behavior in the presence of small observant students! Those character traits that the mother wants to see in them, she must first develop in herself.
Children are the inheritance of the Lord, and we are responsible to Him for the management of His property.
Christ and the Children
In the days of Christ, mothers brought children to Him, that He would lay His hands on them and bless them. By this act they showed that they believe in Jesus Christ and care about the present and the future of the well-being of children trusted in their care. But the disciples could not understand how these women dared to disturb Master only so that He would pay attention to their children, and persistently send mothers away. Jesus rebuked the disciples and told the crowd to miss faithful mothers with their young children. He said: “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for such are the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:16). Mothers were still walking along the dusty road, approaching the Savior, and He already saw unbidden tears and trembling lips when they offered silent prayers for the children. He heard the words of reproach coming from the disciples, and immediately canceled their order. His great heart, full of love, was open to receive the children. He one by one took them in his arms and blessed them.
This is an inspirational lesson for mothers at all times. He will bring peace to the mother and children, hope and happiness. Do you want to give the best to your children? Then bring them to God.
Let mothers come to Christ with their difficulties. They will receive help in the upbringing of children. The gate is open to every mother who wants to lay down her burden at the feet of the Savior. He still invites mothers to bring babies to Him to bless them.
Christ identified Himself with the humble, needy and contrite. He took small children in his arms and could communicate with young people on an equal footing. His great loving heart could understand their experiences and needs, and He rejoiced in their happiness. His spirit, tired of the bustle and excitement of a crowded city, tired of communicating with crafty and hypocritical people, found rest and peace in the company of innocent children. The presence of Christ never frightened them. The greatness of the sky condescended to answering their questions and simplifying its important lessons to such an extent that they were accessible to the child’s perception. Jesus planted a seed of truth in their young developing minds, which could ascend and yield a plentiful harvest in their more mature years.
“Let little children come to me and do not hinder them, for such are the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:14). These words should encourage parents to bring their children to Him, asking in the name of Christ that God will bless their whole family.
Children in the eyes of Heaven
your children are so dear to Christ that He gave His life for them. The smallest child who loves and fears God is in His eyes higher than the most talented and educated man, who neglects great salvation. The soul of a child who believes in Christ is as precious in His sight as the angels at His throne. Children are born by parents, and yet all children have received life thanks to the creative power of God, because God is the Life-Giver.
Christ, too, was once a child. Be kind to your children for His sake. They are not entrusted to you so that you indulge them in everything, spoiled and idolized them, but to be taught to live a clean and exalted life. They are God’s treasure; He loves them and encourages you to cooperate with Him to help them shape the perfect characters.
Children need to be explained that their inherent gifts are not their property. Strength, time, intellect – this is a loan of wealth. It belongs to God, and each person should make a decision – to dedicate their gifts to the highest goal.
Jesus knows our weaknesses and experienced all that we experience except sin, so He prepared for us a path that corresponds to our strengths and abilities. He can support and comfort us with His presence and be for us an eternal Teacher. He and the children are aligned with the path of life. God prepared for us a path that corresponds to our strengths and abilities.
26. Little assistants
Work saves us from three great evils: from boredom, vice and want. Voltaire
Teach children that they are full members of the family and therefore must bear their share of responsibility in the home. Parents are obliged to feed, clothe and educate children, take care of them, and children are obliged with joy and sincere devotion to help their parents by doing part of household chores and bringing happiness to the family.
Let the children know that they need to help their father and mother by performing small tasks. Give them some work so that they do it for you, and then encourage them, saying that after that they will be able to play.
Children have a living mind, and they need to be taught discipline and responsibility. They should not be allowed to do only what they want. Parents are required to supervise children’s classes.
If children are not aware of the obligation to help their parents, ask if they will like it if their parents stop providing them with everything they need? Refusing the duties assigned to them to facilitate the work of parents, even if this is not a very pleasant job, children miss the opportunity to get the most important upbringing in order to become useful members of society in the future.
Parents should not be slaves to their children, sacrifice everything for them, allow them to grow up careless, not sharing with family daily work and cares. Children from an early age need to be taught useful things, so that they serve themselves and help others. In this case, they will experience a sense of satisfaction, realizing that they really do benefit. Do not hint to your children that it does not matter whether they work or not. Instruct them that their help is needed, that their time is valuable and that you count on them.
The surest way to make children unhappy is to free them from all responsibilities, to allow them to lead an empty, aimless life, not to force them to do anything or to provide an opportunity to practice only what they like. Children’s minds are very receptive and alive, so if children do not occupy what is good and useful, they will inevitably turn to what is bad. It’s fair that they need rest. But it’s also true that they need to be trained to work, to regularly dedicate hours to physical labor, as well as reading and other pursuits. Make sure that the classes match the age of the children and that they draw knowledge from useful and interesting books.
Parents need to understand that the most important lesson that should be taught to children is to do their part of the housework. Parents are obliged to teach children a sense of life, understanding that they should be beneficial. Under the guidance of a wise mother, boys and girls should receive the first instruction in the family about how to perform life duties.
Beneficial Effects of Work
Children need to be taught to do useful things. They are naturally active and are inclined to seek employment, and this activity can be directed and directed to the right direction. In the early years they should be taught to perform everyday simple tasks, each child can be assigned a specific case for which he will be responsible. Carrying out small tasks will bring children satisfaction and happiness. They will get used to work and will be happy if they spend most of their time in useful work. They will more vividly enjoy their entertainment after they have successfully completed your assignment.
Work strengthens the muscles and mind. In fulfilling the tasks assigned to them, children can develop memory, as well as raise the constancy of character and the ability to quickly cope with work. The day with its succession of small responsibilities requires thinking, calculating and plan of action. When children grow older, they can be demanded more. Work should not be exhausting and so long that it can tire them. The work must be carefully selected, thereby contributing to the best development of the physical and mental forces, as well as the nature of the child.
If children do not overwork, fatigue can not hurt them more than you. There is a difference between fatigue and exhaustion. Children need to change their classes and rest more often than adults; but they can begin to learn to work from the earliest years and will be happy to realize that they can be of use. Fall asleep with a sweet dream after a healthy labor, they will restore their strength to work the next day.
Principle of cooperation
In the home education the principle of cooperation is invaluable. Senior children should help their parents by participating in their plans and sharing their responsibilities. Take time to teach children, show that you appreciate their help, want them to trust you, and enjoy communicating with them, and children will not slow to respond. As a result, you will not only receive relief in your affairs and cares, but children will receive practical training of inestimable importance, but it will also strengthen family ties and strengthen the very foundation of the emerging children’s characters.
From year to year, they must achieve sustainable progress, starting from childhood inexperience to adulthood, gradually increasing, acquiring sufficient maturity.
Conscientiously performing simple household chores, boys and girls lay the foundation for mental, moral and spiritual perfection.
Much that children can learn from books is far less important than the lessons of practical diligence and discipline.
Some mothers say: “Children interfere with me when they try to help.” It was the same with my children, but do you think I let them feel it? Often praise your children.
27. Relationship to parents
Children should be educated so that they fervently love their father and mother and take care of them.
Children should be aware that they are in debt to their parents who cared for them from birth and took care of them when they were ill. Children also need to understand that parents are very worried about them.
“Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exo 20:12). This is a commandment with a promise. It is the responsibility of children and young people, middle-aged and elderly people. In life there is no such period when children could be freed from the need to honor their parents.
Love for parents
Parents have the right to love and respect to the extent that no other person is worthy of it. God Himself determined that in the early years of children’s life parents would replace God with them. And he who rejects the legitimate rights of his parents rejects God’s authority.
The fifth commandment requires that children not only respect their parents, obey them and obey them, but be treated with love and tenderness, facilitating their cares, keeping their good name, helping and consoling them in old age.
In our time, children often do not know well what their duty is to their parents. It often happens that the more parents do for children, the more ungrateful they become and the less they respect their parents. Children, whom grown up spoiled, hope that it will always be so, and if their expectations do not come true, they become disappointed and despondent. This inclination will be manifested throughout their life. They will be helpless, seek support from others and count on their benevolence and concessions. And if they meet opposition already being adults, they will consider themselves insulted. They drag out a miserable existence in the world, often annoyed, because everything goes wrong, as they wish.
Children need parental love, otherwise they will be very unhappy. And is it not just as fair that children love their parents and show their love in affectionate glances, pleasant words and joyful cordial communication, helping the father in his affairs and the mother in the house?
Advice to children
Children and young people should turn to God from an early age, because early acquired habits and concepts often have a huge impact on the whole life and character of a person. Christ wants children and young people to come to Him with the same confidence with which they come to their parents. As a child asks the mother or father for bread, when hungry, so the Lord wants you to ask Him for what you need.
Jesus knows the needs of children and loves to listen to their prayers. Open to Him the secrets of your heart, for His eye penetrates into the secrets of the soul and He reads your thoughts, as in an open book. When you ask for what is needed for the good of your soul, believe that you will receive – and you will have it.
Today we need people who will act honestly, no matter what. Today the world needs pure hearts and strong, strong hands. God intended that a man should constantly develop, reaching new heights of perfection day by day. He will help us if we try to help ourselves. Our hope for happiness in this and the future world depends on our cultivation in the earthly world.
Show impeccability of tastes, inclinations and habits. God will reward you with peace of mind, clear mind, sound judgment, sharp perception.
Take into consideration the commandment to which God made this promise: “That your days may last on the land which the Lord your God gives you.” Children, do you want to live forever? Then respect and love your parents. Do not hurt their hearts, do not upset them, do not make them spend sleepless nights worrying about you. If you did not love them and were disobedient, from now on, do otherwise. You can not do otherwise, because it means for you the loss of eternal life.
If parents allow children in the early years to show disrespect towards themselves, allowing them to talk irritably and even rudely, then they will reap bitter fruits. If parents do not require prompt and perfect obedience from their children, they do not properly shape their characters. They prepare the children for them to upset them, the elderly, when they stand on the edge of the grave. Children should be educated so that they tenderly love their father and mother and take care of them.
Our duty to parents never stops. Our love for them and for them is not measured to us by years and distance, and our responsibility can never be lifted from us.
Children are required to honor their parents all their lives. If parents are old and weak, children should show them love and attention in proportion to their needs. Children should act decisively and honorably, even if they need self-denial, so that parents do not worry.
Even under the most ideal conditions, elderly parents bring little joy and comfort. What else can saddle their heart more than the disparaging attitude of the children? What more sin can be harder for children than to cause grief to the elderly, a helpless father and mother?
Having reached adulthood, some children believe that they have already fulfilled their duty to their parents by providing them with housing. By giving them food and shelter, they do not show love and participation to their parents. In advanced years, parents are particularly eager for love and compassion, but children heartlessly deprive them of their attention. While parents are alive, children should love and respect them. As much as possible, it is necessary to bring joy and light to the lives of elderly parents.
How can a son or daughter calmly leave his father and mother in the hands of strangers to take care of them? Even if the mother has a difficult nature, this does not absolve the children from the obligation to take care of it, which God laid on them.
Perhaps, the children think that in their childhood they were treated severely. But will they be able to remain in peace with God if they bear a spirit of reckoning with their parents, especially when they become old and infirm? Will the helplessness of parents be the basis for the love of children? Will not the needs of the elderly father and mother cause noble feelings in their hearts, and will the children treat their parents with benevolence and respect? Do not let your heart become stone with respect to your father and mother.
It is especially difficult to think of a person who is disgusted with his mother, who has become old, weak and weak. How patiently and affectionately the children should treat their mother! It is necessary to speak only tender words, only those that will not hurt the soul.
Let your parents, infirm, unable to take care of themselves, spend their last days in contentment, peace and love. Let them hear from you only the words of kindness, love, mercy and forgiveness. Do you want the Lord to love, pity, forgive you and do everything for you on the bed of illness? Then do to others as you want, so that you will be treated. Look after your parents, because no one else can do little good works for them with such gratitude as you.
The awareness that they serve for the good of parents gives children satisfaction throughout their lives and brings special joy when they themselves need sympathy and love. They will rejoice that they bring peace and peace to their beloved parents in their last days. To act differently, to deprive the helpless, elderly parents of the benevolent service of sons and daughters is to fill the soul with remorse, and the days of one’s life with regret, unless, of course, our hearts are hardened and become as insensible as a stone.
28. Principles of home education
Who can better understand the needs of children, but not their Creator?
Each family needs to be guided by the rules, parents should give their own precious example in words and behavior.
Teach children and young people to respect themselves, to be faithful to God, to remain faithful to principles; teach them to respect the Law of God and obey it.
God Himself established family relations. His Word is the only safe guide in the management of children. Human philosophy does not reveal more than what God knows, and does not offer a more wise plan for communicating with children than the one that our Lord gave. Who can better understand the needs of children, but not their Creator? Who can be more interested in their welfare, than not He who died for them? If they carefully studied the Word of God and faithfully obeyed him, there would be less spiritual anguish caused by the misbehavior of playful children.
Rights of the child
Children have the right to proper education and upbringing, which will make them useful, respected and worthy members of society. Their present and future well-being largely depends on the propensities that they will acquire in childhood and adolescence. Children must be taught from an early age to obedience and concern for the happiness of others. They need to be taught to suppress a quick temper, to refrain from harsh words, to show unchanging kindness, politeness and self-control.
Blind love for children and disingenuous caress on the part of children are constant companions. Some justify the disobedience of children, saying: “My child loves me.” It’s not love at all. True love, which should develop in the family, is valuable because it is tested by obedience. Numerous kisses and manifestations of childlike love dazzle you, and your children know about it. Take a closer look at the essence of things and show what is really the love of children for their parents. Reject kisses and hugs, like fake, like deception, if they are not backed up by obedience and respect for your requirements.
Adults should not indulge in blind attachment, but they also should not exert excessive rigor. Act with love. Never hurt children with rudeness or unreasonable demands.
Lead children with love
I have often observed that the most effective family rule is maintained without a rude word and an unkind look. Then the children follow the path followed by their parents, and rarely talk with each other in a rude tone. I was in other families, where orders were constantly issued in an imperative tone, where sharp accusations and severe punishments were often heard. There, the children also imitated the example of their parents, and angry words, nagging and arguing were heard from morning till night.
It is necessary to restrain words that frighten, breed fear and ruin love in souls.
Rough words harden the character and hurt the hearts of children, and in some cases it is difficult to heal these wounds.
Children feel the slightest injustice, and some are so disheartened that they do not pay attention to the loud, angry voice that commands them, and they do not fear the threat of punishment. It is dangerous to criticize children too severely for minor missteps. Excessively harsh criticism, too strict rules lead to disrespect of all the foundations, and soon the children brought up in this way will show such contempt for any laws.
Everything leaves a mark in young minds. They study facial expressions, listen to the voice and exactly imitate the manners of adult behavior. Irritable and grumpy fathers and mothers give their children bad lessons, and later these parents would give everything in the world, if only the children got rid of the influence of such instructions. Only by living a moral life and exercising self-control can parents create the character of their children.
Children are impressing, loving natures. They are easy to please and just as easy to upset. Gently instructing children with tender words and good deeds, mothers can unite their hearts with their hearts. Speak calmly, act prudently and faithfully abide by the promise.
You will be repaid a hundredfold for your affection for your children. Share with them their children’s fun, joys and sorrows. They will be pleased to realize that parents are interested in communicating with them and take part in their games and entertainment, strengthening health and prolonging life. Never appear before children with a frown and do not say rude words. God marks all these words in His book of records. Your child is not your property; you can not do anything with him, because he belongs to God.
Impermanence in the management of the family is causing great harm, and this is certainly as bad as the absence of leadership at all. Why are children so often stubborn, rebellious and undisciplined? The reason lies in home education. Too many parents are disunited in the management of their family. Contradictory leadership, then tough, then allowing something that was previously condemned, is detrimental to the child.
God, whose authority we must recognize, prohibits all oppression on the part of parents and all disobedience on the part of children. The Lord is full of kindness, mercy and truth. His law is holy, just and kind and must be fulfilled by parents and children. The joint influence of grace and justice must be felt in the house. “Mercy and truth are met, truth and peace are kissed” (Psalm 84:11). Families in which such discipline reigns will fulfill the commandments of the Lord.
A united front.
Parents should work together as one. There can not be any disagreement between them. But many parents act against each other, harming the child. Sometimes it happens that one parent is too lenient, and the other is too strict. This difference negatively affects the formation of the character of children. Realizing the transformation, one can not use brute force, but at the same time one should not show indolent condescension.
If the father and mother disagree, trying to counteract the influence of each other, then such a family will be demoralized and the children will no longer have respect for the father and mother. Children quickly recognize everything that casts a shadow on the rules and laws of the family. In particular, on those rules that limit their actions.
Some loving mothers allow children to do things that should not take place at all. The mistakes of children are sometimes withheld from the father. Here lies the lesson of deception, to which children successfully learn.
If the father discovers the truth, the conspirators find excuses and say only part of the truth. Children know that there is no agreement between their parents, and they begin to deceive from an early age, hide their misdeeds, present everything to parents in a distorted light. Exaggeration becomes a habit, and gross lies are pronounced without remorse.
It also happens that a father who spends little time with children and is not familiar with the peculiarities of their habits and characters is rude and strict. He does not control himself and punishes them in a fit of rage. The child knows about this and, instead of submitting himself, is filled with anger, having received punishment. Mother leaves the same misdeeds, then severely punishes them. Children never know what their parents will do, and they are tempted to find out how long they will all get away with it.
What do we see in the end? The tone of the voice of the father and mother, their views, words – all indicate that they do not have unity in matters of raising children. The father condemns the mother and forces the children to be treated with disrespect for motherly kindness and affection. The mother believes that she should show greater attachment to children, satisfy their desires and indulge them, because she believes that the father is rude and unrestrained and should neutralize his negative influence by his actions.
If parents are united in the principles of upbringing, the child will understand what is required of him. But if the father with a word or eye shows that he does not approve of the actions of the mother, if he thinks that she is too strict, and believes that she must oppose caresses and condescension, then this is detrimental to the child. Soon he will understand that he can do as he wants.
The family should be well organized. The father and mother must jointly discuss their responsibilities and start with a clear understanding of the task. It is necessary to eliminate all discrepancies. Father and mother should never criticize each other’s plans and judgments in the presence of children. If parents do not agree, then let them not find out the relationship in the presence of their children.
Fathers and mothers, unite your hearts in a very close and happy union. Do not live by yourself, but try to be closer to each other, and then you can connect the hearts of your children with yourselves with the tender bonds of love.
29. Religion in the family
Parents should remember that they live, speak and act in the presence of God.
Family religion presupposes the upbringing of children according to God’s will. Religious education means much more than just learning. It implies that you should pray with your children, teach them to approach Christ and tell Him of all your needs; that you in your life should show that God stands in your forefront and His love makes you patient, kind, mature.
In a house where religion is embodied in practice, a great good is accomplished. Faith will motivate parents to perform exactly the work that the Lord intended for their family. Children will grow in reverence for God and His will.
Religion should influence society and, first of all, the family. If at home children were brought up in love and respect for God, then, becoming adults, they will accordingly educate their children, and thus the principles of truth will be implanted in society and produce tangible influence in the world. Religion can not be excluded from home education. Devote your families to God and after that speak and act at home as Christians.
Where there is no family religion, the confession of faith is worthless. Many deceive themselves, believing that the character will be transformed in a future life, but a change in the heart will not happen after the end of the earthly path. If you want to enter into eternal life, then first you must become a saint on earth. The character traits that you develop will not be changed after death or at the time of resurrection. You will rise from the grave with the same character that you had during your lifetime. Christ will not change your character at the time of His coming. Our daily life determines our future fate. A family hearth is a place to prepare for a heavenly family.
Often, children are allowed to grow up without religion, because parents consider them too young to prescribe Christian duties for them. It is very sad when children are allowed to grow up without knowing God. Parents make a terrible mistake, neglecting the religious upbringing of children, believing that in the future everything will turn out well for them and, having become older, they themselves will strive to acquire religious experience. Parents, if you do not plant the precious seed of truth in the hearts of children, Satan will sow the field of the heart with tares.
Which way do you follow? Are you motivated by the idea that in religious matters your children should be freed from any restrictions? Perhaps, you leave them without advice and instruction in childhood and adolescence? Do you let them do as they please? In that case, you neglect your duties given to you by God.
When kids become able to understand, parents should tell them about Jesus – to discover the precious truth about the Infant from Bethlehem. Try to capture in the minds of children a sense of simple piety, corresponding to their age and abilities. Bring your children in prayer to Jesus. At a very early age, children are susceptible to Divine influence. The Lord takes such children under His special care.
Let the parents turn to God for guidance in this matter. Standing on their knees before Him, they will acquire a true understanding of their important responsibilities, and thus they can entrust their children to Him Who never makes mistakes in His advice and instruction.
Parents should not force their children to observe only the external form of religion, but they must present eternal principles to them in an attractive light, showing joy, Christian courtesy, tenderness and participation.
Do not neglect your own religious upbringing and the upbringing of your children. They must be taught from an early age to read, write, count. They can go forward, gradually moving forward in their knowledge. But first of all they need to be taught, that the beginning of wisdom is respect for God.
30. Moral standards
Not morality breeds religion, but religion is morality. Chateaubriand
The concept of marriage, unfortunately, has long been distorted, the concept of the obligations of the spouses is weakened, and the sanctity of marital relations is understated. This distorts the image of God in man and opens the door to suffering and evil.
Immorality is a special sin of this century. Never yet has a vice lifted its ugly head as boldly as now. People seem to be in a state of numbness, and lovers of goodness are almost discouraged by daring, strength, and the extent of vice. Many are so far removed from God that it is impossible to turn their minds to the pure and holy, as one can not reverse the current of the Niagara Falls and make its waters rise.
The mind of a person does not degrade overnight from purity and holiness to immorality, depravity and crime. It takes time to give a person a divine appearance and, conversely, to transform those who are created according to the Divine image into the likeness of Satan. In looking, we change. Despite the fact that man was created in the image of the Creator, he can so educate his mind that what he once abhorred would be nice to him. His mind degrades, and it is impossible to save him, while
man himself does everything to subordinate his moral and mental forces to evil. Any person, young or old, will not be safe until he realizes the need to turn to God for advice at every turn.
Behavior of a woman
In an effort to look attractive, women often lose all discretion. It’s like an exciting game, and they are willing to play it. Married and unmarried women are too often unrestrained. They attract the attention of single and married men, and those who have weak moral foundations, yield to this. There are thoughts that would not exist if the woman behaved modestly and with restraint. A woman may not have sinful intentions or motives, but her behavior gives men a reason to succumb to temptation. Being careful and balanced, staying away from any liberties, not responding to increased attention, but maintaining a high moral standard and proper dignity, many troubles can be avoided.
A woman who allows for obscene words or hints to be made in her presence does not go the way God woulds; the one that allows an inappropriate familiarity or an obscene offer, does not care about its female dignity.
husband and father must diligently keep loyalty to the marriage vows. He must act circumspectly so as not to impress young girls or married women with anything that does not meet the high standards of the commandments of God.
We see many crippled destinies due to the fact that the walls that protect the privacy of each family are being destroyed, which must preserve its purity and sanctity. When a woman talks about her family problems or complains about her husband to another man, she betrays her husband and destroys the wall erected in order to save her family.
You must control your thoughts. This is not easy to do; you can not accomplish this without a determined and even painful effort. And yet this duty is assigned to every person. You are accountable to God for your thoughts. If you indulge in empty dreams, allowing the mind to focus on obscene topics, then you are largely guilty of God, as if your thoughts were transformed into actions. Only the absence of an opportunity can impede action.
In the minds of young couples, marriage is clothed in a romantic halo, and it is difficult to drop this feature, which empowers its imagination, and to capture in the mind a sense of great responsibility associated with the marriage vow. This vow unites the destinies of two people in bonds that nothing can terminate, except death.
The decision to marry must be carefully considered, because it is a step that determines the whole future life of a person. A man and a woman should seriously discuss whether they can be true to each other in spite of the vicissitudes of fate all the while they live together.
Christ of divorce
In the time of Jesus Christ, the husband in his hardness of heart could, for the most insignificant reason, part with his wife, or, if he considered it necessary, to separate her from the children and drive her out. This was considered a great disgrace, and often the rejected woman suffered greatly because of this. This custom caused great misfortunes and sin. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus clearly announced that the reason for the dissolution of marriage bonds can only be infidelity to the marriage vow. “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the guilt of adultery,” He said, “he gives her cause to commit adultery; and whosoever marries a divorced man commits adultery “(Matthew 5:32).
Jesus came to our world to correct mistakes and restore the moral image of God in man. People are not free to establish the rules of law for themselves, to abolish God’s law and please their desires. God called only one reason, on the basis of which the wife can leave her husband or the husband to leave his wife, is adultery.
A woman can be officially divorced from her husband according to the laws of the country and yet remain married to God under the highest law. Although the country’s laws may allow divorce, nevertheless former spouses are husband and wife in the light of the Bible, according to the Law of God.
Husband and wife should strengthen respect and affection for each other. They need to monitor their words and actions, so that they do not say or do something that causes irritation or annoyance. Each of the spouses is obliged to take care of the other, doing all that is in his power to strengthen mutual affection. With love and kindness fulfill your conjugal duty. Both of you must think about how you become one. Softness and tenderness can surprisingly change your life.
31. Family Economy
Money is a constant test of our attachments.
At the heart of business honesty and true success lies the recognition of the ownership of God. He who created everything is the true Master. All that we have is entrusted to us by God, so that we can use the estate in accordance with His instructions. God has endowed us with talents, abilities and set in the world, so that we will perform the work appointed by Him. Money and material values ??do not belong to us. We are pilgrims and pilgrims. We receive as a gift what is necessary for our health and life. Our earthly blessings are given to us to test us, whether it is possible to entrust us with eternal treasures. If we survive this test, we will acquire the property that will belong to us, glory and immortality.
Money is not necessarily a curse. They are of great value and, if properly used, can benefit. But wastefulness and unreasonable use make money a trap for the one who spends it. The one who spends money for the satisfaction of pride and ambition makes them a curse, not a blessing. Money is a constant test of our attachments. If the laws given by God were constantly being fulfilled, then the state of the world in the moral, spiritual and civil aspects would radically change. Selfishness and self-conceit would not be manifested, as now, but everyone would take care of the happiness and well-being of others.
There is independence, which is worthy of praise. The desire to bear its burden and not to eat another’s bread is praiseworthy. Noble, fine is the desire that governs the desire to be independent. It is necessary to develop in oneself diligence and thrift.
Many families live poorly because they spend money as soon as they receive them. To get and use money for some purpose before you earn it is a trap. You should conduct your business so as not to get into debt. Consciousness that you are a debtor instills uncertainty. Even the thought of it takes you out of yourself. You can and must make determined efforts to control your tendency to spend more than you earn.
Many, very many are not so educated and can not regulate their expenses so that they do not exceed revenues. They do not learn to adapt to circumstances and again and again borrow money until they get stuck in debt, so they lose confidence and lose heart.
Make a decision that you will never again borrow. Better deny yourself a thousand things, but do not get into debt. Becoming a debtor is a curse. Avoid this as a contagious disease. Pay off your debts and make a decision that you will no longer have to anyone, even if you have to live on bread and water. When you again become a free person who does not owe anything to anyone, you will win a great victory.
Lack of sense of measure or inexperience can permanently devastate the wallet, and yet a person can think that he is doing the best because he was never taught to restrict his desires or his children’s desires and never developed the ability to plan and sense of proportion in household chores. Therefore, the maintenance of such a family may require twice as much money as for another, more economical family consisting of the same number of members.
Everyone should learn to lead home accounting. Some people with disdain regard this work, considering it secondary, but this is wrong. All costs must be accurately determined.
If you are prone to extravagance, try resolutely to get rid of this shortcoming. Striving for thrift, diligence and moderation is the best share for your children than a rich dowry.
Do not teach your children the idea that your love for them should be manifested through the satisfaction of all their desires. Do not invent new ways of squandering money. Use your ingenuity to live sparingly.
The natural property of young people is a disdainful and frivolous attitude to the economy, they confuse it with inferiority and limitations. But the economy is combined with the broadest and most liberal views and opinions; where there is no economy, there can not be true generosity. No one should consider below their own dignity to learn to be economical.
Economy is not stinginess, it means a reasonable expenditure of funds.
Reasonable distribution of funds
Much is needed for the family, so that it would be cozy and peaceful. The lack of proper order and system in the organization of domestic affairs leads to disastrous consequences and great damage. We can not make hearts more pure and holy, dressing in burlap and depriving the family of all that creates comfort, coziness and convenience. God does not require that we deprive ourselves of what is really necessary for health and peace, but He does not approve of extravagance.
You need to learn to determine when to save, and when to spend. At times it is necessary to pick up the loosened loops, something to mend, tie the frayed edges. You must count all the small expenses for pleasure and note what is spent on satisfying the taste and requirements of style and that on a whim. Money spent on useless things could be used to add comfort and convenience to your home. You do not have to be poor; you must be honest with yourself and with your neighbors. Miserliness is an insult to God’s bounty. But extravagance is also an insult. For small expenses, which, in your opinion, do not deserve mention, in the end it will be necessary to give an account.
Christ once taught his disciples a lesson of frugality, which deserves serious attention. He did a miracle to feed the crowd of hungry people who listened to his teaching; However, after all the hunger was quenched, He did not allow them to throw away the remnants. He Who could feed a great multitude with His Divine power, He compelled His disciples to collect the remnants so that nothing is lost. This lesson was taught to those who lived in the time of Christ, and to us. The Son of God cares for the needs of a temporary life. He did not neglect the remnants of the meal, although he could arrange the same meal wherever he wished. To grasp the disappointments, difficulties and troubles that fell on the human race, Christ experienced the greatest grief and humiliation. He walked along the path that calls His followers to go.
Everyone is tempted to satisfy selfish, irrational desires, but remember that the Lord of life and glory came to this world to teach people the lesson of self-denial.
Many believe that they can afford this or that pleasure, and in order to realize their desire, they are accustomed to living on a broad foot, spending all their earnings on a whim. God wants us to do more worthy in this respect. We sin against ourselves, if we satisfy only the need for food, drink and clothing. God has something more sublime. Do not waste your trifle on purchasing unnecessary things. You can assume that these insignificant sums are a trifle, but this numerous trifle will turn out to be a large sum. The amount spent daily on unnecessary things with the thought: “It’s just one coin”, “it’s just a trifle”, it seems small; but multiply this small thing by the number of days in a year, and then by the number of years, and the figures will be almost unbelievable. If circumstances permit, we must save those funds,
We know little about the suffering of people all around us; but if we have the opportunity, we should be ready to provide immediate assistance to those who are in straitened circumstances. Near us there are many people who need food and clothing. Each hand can help the poor. And God obliged us to alleviate the suffering of people in every possible way.
How to teach children to value money
Parents should grow, educate and educate children in a spirit of self-control, instruct them so that in their daily lives they live simply, not seeking expensive things. You should not pamper them with money, as if there is an inexhaustible supply from which they can draw funds to meet all their requests. Money should be seen as a gift, entrusted to us by God.
The money that children and adolescents receive without serious efforts on their part will not be appreciated by them. It is much safer for the position of those young people who know where their pocket money comes from, what their food and clothes cost, and what is worth keeping a house.
Sometimes reckless assistance is given to children. The one who independently pierces his way in life appreciates his advantages above that of those who receive money from someone else’s pocket. We should not solve for children all the difficulties, turning them into helpless dependents.
The circumstances in which the child turns out to be often more strongly affect him than even the example of the parents. There are people who count on the fact that their children will be the same as they were in their youth, and blame our age if they do not justify their hopes. But they have no right to demand this from their children, if they do not create for them the same conditions in which they lived in their youth. Fathers are working hard to provide their children with material prosperity, to create better living conditions for them than those in which they lived. This is a common mistake. All the desires of the child are satisfied. The character of his father was formed in conditions of strict economy, where even the smallest good was valued. The inclinations and character of his son will be formed under the influence of ease and indulgence.
The best inheritance that parents can leave to their children is training in useful work and life experience, marked by selflessness and generosity.
Such a life they demonstrate the true value of money, which should be used only for good, to meet the personal needs and needs of others.
How can I teach my children savings without falling into stinginess?
32. Business Honesty
For a Christian, honesty is the best policy; furthermore, only. Harry Blanchard
There is no sphere of legitimate activity for which the Bible does not provide vital advice. Her principles of diligence, honesty, frugality, abstinence and integrity are the secret of true success. These principles, set forth in the Book of Proverbs, constitute a treasure trove of practical wisdom. Can a trader, a foreman, a leader in any sphere of business find the best manuals for himself and his employees, rather than those contained in such words of a wise man.
How many people could have avoided financial failure and collapse if they had listened to the warnings so often repeated in the Holy Scriptures.
The Eighth Commandment condemns theft and robbery. It requires rigorous honesty in all matters of business life. It prohibits cunning in entrepreneurship and requires the payment of fair debts and salaries.
Those who say lies or engage in deception lose respect for themselves. He does not realize that God sees him and knows his dubious deeds. But even if his actions were hidden from the human and Divine gaze, the fact that he himself knows this would corrupt his mind and character. One act does not determine the character, but it removes the obstacle, and the next temptation is more readily accepted, until finally one gets the habit of blaming the soul and doing things unfairly; such a person can no longer be trusted.
As we act with our neighbors, showing dishonesty in small things or demonstrating obvious deception, we will do so with God. People who
persist in the habit of deceiving will carry out their principles until they mislead their own soul and lose the right to eternal life, sacrificing it for the sake of insignificant temporary gain.
Caring for the future
If you are engaged in a business that from time to time brings you a large income, then, having earned money, try to save them with an eye for the time when you can not so easy to raise funds. God commanded us not to go on about our tastes and desires and take care of the future, and not just about the present. In the family there must be money in case it finds itself in cramped circumstances.
33. Health of the Soul
What is only true, what is fair, what is fair, what is pure, what is gracious, what is glorious, that only virtue and praise, think about it. The Apostle Paul
God gave people eyes so they could contemplate His wonderful deeds. He gave them ears so they could listen to the news of Him. He endowed people with the gift of speech so that they could speak of Christ as the forgiving sin of the Savior.
The apostle Peter tried to teach the believers how important it is to guard your mind from forbidden topics and wasting mental forces on non-essential questions. People who do not want to become victims of evil forces must carefully guard the approaches to their soul; they should avoid reading, watching and listening to what can cause bad thoughts. You can not let your thoughts uncontrollably focus on every topic that the enemy of souls can offer. The heart must be kept faithfully, otherwise external evil will spontaneously generate evil in it, and the soul will wander in darkness.
We should always remember that invisible middlemen, good and evil, are working to gain control over our minds. They use invisible, but effective force. Good angels are service spirits that exert a heavenly influence on the heart and mind, whereas the great enemy of the soul, the devil, and his angels are constantly working to destroy us. Feeling and aware of the attacks of invisible, indistinguishable enemies, we must be sure: they can not do us harm without our consent. Satan will never manage to gain dominance over our thoughts, words and deeds, unless we ourselves open the door and invite him to enter.
Food for the Soul
There is a reason for deep concern about children who meet temptations at every turn. They can not avoid contact with bad companies. They see, hear and experience what demoralizes them, and this influence, if not carefully guarded, will imperceptibly but steadily spoil the heart and disfigure the character.
Mind is taught to be kind to sin. Modern periodicals spread villainy and infamy. “We live in peace,” you will say, “and we can not leave it.” But, dear parents, we can still choose the good path, and, if we wish, we can avoid contemplation of many vices that are multiplying so rapidly in this last time. We can not listen to the story of many atrocities and crimes.
Modern popular publications are full of sensational stories. As far as crimes are concerned, small children show this awareness, which is worthy of adult people. The stories that they read inspire them to evil. In their imagination they perform the acts they have read about, and in them the desire to commit a crime awakens and escapes punishment.
In the minds of impressionable children, the scenes they see come to life as if they were real. When all the actions that violate the law and encourage permissiveness are described in detail, many learn the spirit of such stories. People become capable, if given the opportunity, to commit even worse crimes than those described by these sensational authors. The society is demoralizing, and it is not surprising that the result is the fruits of this crime.
Think about what the Bible says in Ps. 100: 3-7: “I will not put evil things in my eyes; criminal cause I hate; it will not cleave to me. A corrupt heart will be removed from me; evil I will not know. Secretly slandering his neighbor; proud of my eyes and arrogant heart I will not tolerate. My eyes are upon the faithful of the earth, that they may abide with me … he that walketh in the deceit shall not dwell in my house; he that speaketh lies shall not remain in my sight. “
What to read?
The receptive, developing mind of the child craves knowledge. Like the body, the mind draws power from the food it receives. Many young people passionately love books. They read everything that comes to hand. I encourage parents of these children to control their propensity for reading. Put books on them to help them create a character. Encourage children to stock up with useful knowledge, allowing all kindness to fill the soul. Restrain their desire to read such books, which are harmful food for the mind.
The world is full of books that would be better destroyed than disseminated. Young people would be better off not reading many books that are published and distributed for commercial purposes.
Books that distort the truth should never fall into the hands of children and young people. Let the children in the process of education do not acquire false concepts.
Faced with a huge flow of printed material, with the periodical press, the old and the young acquire the habit of reading hastily and superficially, and the mind loses its ability to communicate coherently and purposefully. In addition, a significant part of periodicals and books contains materials not only banal, empty and disintegrating, but also obscene and humiliating. The influence of such literature not only intoxicates and destroys the mind, but also corrupts and destroys the soul. Reading love stories makes it impossible to focus on important and serious issues. Those who like to read empty excitement stories, sometimes become unable to perform their duties in everyday life, because they live in an unreal, fictional world.
Children need a suitable reading, which would be for them pleasure and entertainment, would not spoil the mind and not tire the body. Children and young people will find what to read, and if they do not choose books for them, they will make their own choice. It is not difficult to find books destructively affecting the soul, and children are instantly addicted to them; but if they offer smart and useful books, then there will be a taste for them. The mind must be disciplined and tirelessly instilled with it a taste for all that is healthy and useful. Parents should timely introduce their children to the Scriptures in order to develop their correct way of thinking.
No need to spare any effort to instill a useful habit of exploring. If you are distracted, learn to focus. If there is no desire to strain the mind, one must make determined efforts to overcome oneself. Strict rules must be applied to guide thinking in the right direction.
It is rare to find a balanced mind, because parents show criminal negligence to their duty to encourage the development of good character traits and restrain bad qualities. They should not forget that they have an important duty to follow the development of the inclinations of each of their children, to instill in them good habits and to form their right thinking. Encourage morality and develop intellectual forces.
What do children in your house watch, read and hear?
34. Courtesy and kindness
The pleasure experienced by doing good is greater than from the fact that you receive it. Epicurus
Principle be kind to one another, compassionate (see Rom 12:10) lies at the very foundation of family happiness. Politeness must reign in every home. It does not cost anything, but it has the power to soften the harshest and coarse natures. Encouraging constant courtesy and the desire to act with others the way we would like them to do to us will help get rid of many everyday adversities.
If we want to see our children kind and polite, we should set an example for them. Show courtesy and goodwill towards each other, even in the small. Rude speech should not be encouraged; harsh words should not sound in the house.
Everyone can have a joyful look and courteous manners. Children are attracted by kind, cheerful behavior. Be kind and polite to them, and they will show the same spirit to you and to each other. The courtesy and self-control shown by you will have a greater impact on the characters of your children than words alone.
Affectionately talking with your children and praising them when they try to do it right, parents can encourage their efforts, make them happy and create in the family an atmosphere of goodwill that will dispel all darkness and light up the house with the light of joy. Soft manners, encouraging words and actions dictated by love will connect the hearts of children and parents with the tender bonds of love.
Mutual benevolence and self-control will make the family a paradise and will attract the holy angels into the family circle; but they will leave that house where rude words are spoken, where irritability and disagreement reigns. Severity, discontent and anger close God’s door to such a house.
Politeness, manifested in everyday life, and affection of family members to each other should not be conditioned by external circumstances. A pleasant tone of voice, soft manners and sincere sympathy, which finds expression in every act, combined with diligence, accuracy and frugality make even the shack the happiest house.
It is less necessary to portray ostentatious courtesy to strangers and guests and to show more true love and disposition towards people dear to us in our families.
The essence of true courtesy is respect for others. The so-called culture, which does not make young people respectful of their parents, does not teach them to appreciate the advantages, be tolerant of shortcomings, do not help their needs, which does not make them caring and gentle, generous and useful for young, old and unhappy and courteous all – such a culture is false.
The Best Etiquette
Bible The Bible contains many important rules affecting social and family ties. This is not only the best and cleanest example of morality, but also the most valuable code of politeness. The Golden Rule: “If you want people to do this to you, do so to them” (Luke 6:31), as well as the apostolic command: “In lowliness of mind, honor one another higher than yourself” (Phil 2: 3) should become the law of the family. The golden rule is the principle of true courtesy, which is fully embodied in the life and character of Jesus. Christ was polite even with His persecutors. All true kindness and love in the world, even among those who did not know His name, come from Him.
The best etiquette from all that ever was written is the precious instruction given by the Savior and uttered by the Holy Spirit through the apostle Paul, words that must be forever written in the memory of all people, young and old:
“How I loved us. so also you love one another “(John 13:34).
Love is long-suffering, merciful,
Love does not envy, love does not exalt itself.
He does not take pride, does not behave excessively , does not seek his own, does
not irritate, does not think evil, does
not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
Everything covers, everything is trusted,
Total hopes, endures everything,
Love never fails ”
(I Corinthians 13: 4-8).
Love lights up the face and softens the voice; it purifies and exalts the whole person. She leads him into agreement with God.
True courtesy can not be learned by simple execution of the rules of etiquette. Genuine courtesy does not require sacrificing principles for the sake of convention. She ignores caste. It teaches a person to respect himself, respect human dignity in other people, reckon with every member of the great brotherhood of people.
It is not enough to observe the outer rules carefully to get rid of all irritability and sharpness in judgments. We must stop taking into account our selfish “I” as the main goal. Love must live in the heart. The Gospel encourages not formal politeness, but one that is born from the true kindness of the heart.
Of all that people seek and appreciate, nothing is as important in the sight of God as a pure heart, a grateful spirit and a peace of mind.
God’s plan is for people with different characters to unite with each other. At the same time, every member of the family should respect the opinions of others and respect their rights. Such behavior will promote mutual caution and endurance, partial opinions will soften, and rough features will be smoothed out. Consent will be achieved, and a combination of different characters can be an advantage of the family.
Do not let difficulties and everyday worries overshadow your life. There will always be something that will irritate and irritate you. Our life is such as we do it, and we get what we aspire for. If we see in life only sadness and anxiety, if we are inclined to exaggerate insignificant difficulties, then we will face a lot of problems, which we will endlessly think about and talk about. Do not think about sorrowful and unpleasant. Emotional depression causes great harm to health. Grief and fear will not help to correct evil. But if we pay more attention to the bright side of life, then we will get enough of what will make us happy and happy. “A merry heart is good as a medicine, and a dull spirit dries bones” (Proverbs 17:22).
The misfortune can comprehend anyone, this is the inevitable fate of human destiny. Let the patience, the spirit of gratitude and love brightly shine in the heart, despite the fact that the day can be very foul.
If we smile, these smiles will return to us; if we tell people nice, kind words, the same will tell us.
Sometimes people think that cheerfulness is incompatible with the dignity of a Christian character, but this is a mistake. The sky is the fullness of joy, and if our soul is filled with the joy of the sky and this joy is expressed in our words and deeds, then it will be more pleasant to our Heavenly Father than to see us gloomy and dull.
Smile, parents; smile, teacher. If you have a sad heart, try not to show it. Let the light coming from a loving, grateful heart shine on your face. Free yourself from the harsh importance, study the needs of children and gain their love. You have to win over them if you want to capture the truth in their hearts.
Be cheerful, and never – rude and vulgar. If something annoys you, this is no reason to lose your temper. If parents want to
work out pleasant manners from their children, they will never speak to them rudely. Learn to keep a pleasant face and try to make your voice as harmonious as possible. The angels of God are always beside your children, and your sharp, loud, irritated voice is unpleasant for their ears.
Look at things in a joyful light, try to dispel the darkness that enveloped the soul. Show attitude to people. May cheerfulness, kindness and love fill your home.
Golden apples in silver transparent vessels – a word that was said decently. Solomon
Speech is a trusted gift, and it should be used to help others, to inspire and strengthen them. Angels hear the words that are pronounced in the house. Therefore, never scold.
Say kind words, showing sincere sympathy and love; but at the same time be firm and adamant in their principles. If you are strict with your children, they may think that you do not like them. Justice and charity must go hand in hand, and there should be no hesitation or impulsive actions.
First of all, it must be clean, kind and truthful. The best school for teaching such a language is the family.
Kind words – that dew and quiet rain for the soul. Scripture says that Christ’s mouth exuded grace, that He could speak the right word to one who was tired. And the Lord calls us: “Let your word always be with grace” (Colossians 4: 6). Sharp and angry words are in the sight of God a kind of blasphemy. God says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).
Family members need to be taught a culture of speech and rhetoric. Parents should teach their children to speak so clearly that listeners can understand every word they say. Keep the purity of speech. Develop a soft and convincing, rather than a rough and imperative tone of voice. Teach your children the skills of proper speech, so that when they face trials they do not break their involuntary harsh words.
In a house where rude, irritated, abusive words are uttered, children often cry, and their fragile psyche bears traces of unhappiness and disagreement. Try to smile more often, and the children’s minds and hearts will reflect the light of your faces like a mirror.
Do not allow family quarrels and disagreements. Speak in a soft tone. Never raise your voice or speak rudely. Stay calm, avoid quibbles. We must curb the temper and control our speech.
Because of the habit of speaking, a feeling of hostility arises severely and happiness leaves the house. Family members lose respect for the one who speaks in this way, whereas if he restrained his feelings, he could win the trust and disposition of all.
The irritated tone of one prompts the other to respond in the same spirit. Rough and offensive words turn life into a nightmare, because all these bitter words again and again come to mind, poisoning the soul.
Do not learn to be vulgar in actions, thoughts and words. Rude statements, obscene jokes, impoliteness will be your second nature. The family is too holy to desecrate it with mutual accusations and scandals. In the house there should be no spirit of criticism and captiousness. Stop looking for shortcomings and speak rashly and harshly.
Avoid silly conversations in your home. Even the smallest children benefit from “common sense”. But the empty and stupid words exchanged between father and mother will generate the same conversations with their children, while fair, sincere, truthful and serious words taken up by the whole family will bear the fruits of righteous deeds.
It would be nice if each person gave a promise to speak in a friendly manner in his home and allowed the law of love to control his speech. Parents, never in a hurry with reproaches! If your children make mistakes, correct them, but let your words be full of tenderness and love. Whenever you scold, you lose the precious opportunity to give a lesson of endurance and patience. Let love move you when you correct mistakes.
Remember that you yourself are impressionable and do not like being accused; ponder and understand that your children are like you. If you do not bear blame and accusations, this will also not appeal to your children, who are weaker than you and can not endure too much grief.
36. Social needs
Nothing can so inhibit the spread of high moral concepts and disbelieve in them, as communication with empty, careless and depraved people.
Every person finds friends. And, in proportion to the power of friendship, there will be the influence exerted by friends on each other, either good or evil. All people have their own circle of communication, where, on the one hand, they spread their influence, and on the other, they are influenced by others.
The Word of God places a special emphasis on the influence that communication has on people. The role of communication is very great in the formation of the minds and characters of children and youth. The companies in which they happen, the principles they learn, the habits that they acquire, decide on their usefulness in the present life and determine their future destiny.
Young people will certainly find themselves comrades and will inevitably feel their influence. There is a mysterious connection that unites souls. The heart of one responds to the call of the heart of another person. One takes over the ideas, opinions, the spirit of the other. Such communication can be either a blessing or a curse.
It is rightly said: “Tell me who your friend is, and I’ll tell you who you are.” Young can not understand how much the choice of comrades affects their character and reputation. Everyone wants to get into the company of those whose tastes, habits and aspirations are close to him.
If young people were urged to communicate with the morally clean, caring, benevolent people, the influence they would experience would be most beneficial. On the other hand, the one who communicates with people of dubious moral qualities will soon follow the same path. Anyone who communicates with skeptics will soon become a skeptic; one who prefers a company of scoundrels, he himself will certainly become a scoundrel.
The principles of the young man can at first completely disagree with the principles of those to whom he aspires to communicate; But when he approaches these people, his thoughts and feelings change. He sacrifices his convictions and unconsciously, but inevitably descends to the level of his friends. Just as the flow of water necessarily erodes the soil through which it flows, so the company in which young people are, necessarily influences their principles and habits.
Any of our relationships have some influence on us, however limited it may be. The strength of this influence is determined by the degree of intimacy, the consistency of communication and our love and respect for those with whom we communicate.
Young people are much easier to give in to someone else’s influence than older people. Everything impresses them – the people they look at, the voices they hear, the places they visit, the companies they are in, and the books they read. It is impossible to overestimate the importance of choosing a suitable society for us and especially for our children, because this determines our fate in this world and in the world to come.
Young people and girls are inherently prone to recklessness, and in the early years, before their characters form and judgments become mature, they often prefer to communicate with those who have a negative impact on them. In this regard, I would like to warn parents that they are not inferior to the wishes of their children in the choice of friends.
Protect your children properly. They should in no case be allowed to leave and come when they like, without your knowledge and consent. Unlimited freedom granted to children in our time, leads many to perish. Children are allowed to stay out in the evenings in the evening, and often parents do not even consider it necessary to ask who their children are friends with. Too often, they choose friends, whose influence only corrupts them.
It is necessary to demand explanations from the son or daughter, if they did not spend the night at home. Parents need to know what company their children are in and what kind of house they spend their evenings in.
Fathers and mothers all too often allow children to choose their own entertainment, friends and activities. The results are as expected. Leave the field untreated, and it will grow with thorns. You will never see a beautiful flower among unsightly weeds. Inexperienced quinoa grows magnificently without any care, whereas valuable, useful and beautiful plants require careful care. This is the case with our youth. It is necessary to conduct serious work in order to develop useful inclinations and to establish in their hearts just principles. To correct bad habits, you need diligence and perseverance.
Restrictions should be firm, but benevolent. Parents should not yield to the harmful inclinations of their children, but restrain them with kindness and love. We should not allow children to swim along with their desires and go ahead. No one is in such danger as those who are unaware of it and reject all caution and advice.
Children need to be taught and educated so that they are ready to face difficulties and overcome them, owning themselves. If they do not intentionally expose themselves to danger, then, by chance being in a bad company, possessing sufficient strength of character, will be able to defend their principles.
Bible strongly recommends hospitality. “Do not forget the strange things, for through it some, not knowing, have given hospitality to the Angels” (Hebrews 13: 2).
Some refer to poor health – they would gladly have shown hospitality if they had the strength. For you, suffering from poor health, there is a remedy: “Share your bread with the hungry, and bring the wandering poor into the house; when you see the naked, put it on, and do not hide from your half-blooded. Then your light will open like a dawn, and your healing will soon increase “(Isaiah 58: 7, 8). Good deeds are an excellent remedy for the disease.
The one who closes in himself, who is not situated to receive guests, is deprived of many blessings. When the spirit of hospitality dies, the heart is struck by the paralysis of selfishness.
37. Rest is necessary
God created rest for those who work.
There are people with a sick imagination, for whom religion is a tyranny, controlling them with an iron rod. Such people constantly complain about their depravity and sigh about imaginary evil. There is no love in their hearts; their faces are always gloomy. They freeze from the innocent laughter of the young, and all the others. They believe that every rest and entertainment is a sin, and they believe that they should be stern and strict all the time. This is one extreme. Others believe that the mind should always be occupied with the invention of new entertainments and amusements, and it is supposed to contribute to health. They get used to living in a state of excitement and without that they feel bad. These people fall into the other extreme. The true principles of Christianity are for everyone a source of joy, latitude and longitude, the depth and height of which are immeasurable.
We need to strive to refresh our spirit and strengthen our body through worthy entertainment, seeking to use physical and mental powers for the glory of God. Our entertainment should not be unhealthy, meaningless fun, like the absurd. We can spend our leisure time so that it will bring benefit and exalt those with whom we communicate. We should have a rest period, a time for rest, a time for reflection. Anyone who is engaged in studies or work in the office, should rest. Mind can not be forced to work hard all the time, because this finely tuned mechanism can fail.
Just like the mind, the body needs exercises. The time spent on physical training is not wasted. For good work of all organs necessary exercises are necessary. When the brain constantly works, and other organs of the body are inactive, there is a weakening of both physical and mental forces. A person loses a healthy tone, the mind loses vitality, and as a result, painful excitability arises.
How do we entertain?
Young people can not be as balanced and serious as the elderly, and children are as self-restrained as their parents. Condemning bad entertainment, which they should do, parents and teachers should offer something in return. Do not bind young people with strict rules and restrictions so that they do not feel oppressed. Firmly, kindly and carefully manage your children so that they know that you are doing it for their own good.
Children do not need sad experiences. God’s commandments and promises confirm this. Ways of wisdom are “pleasant paths, and all her paths are peaceful” (Proverbs 3:17).
At the beginning of the history of mankind, life was simple. People lived closer to nature. The children shared the work of their parents and learned the beauty and secrets of the natural treasury. In the tranquility of forests and fields, they reflected on the great truths, passing their sacred faith from generation to generation. Such upbringing made people strong.
In this century, life is completely different. Although we do not have the opportunity to turn completely to the simple customs of old times, we can still learn from them the lessons that will make our rest time what it should be, the time of true creation of the body, mind and soul.
Several families living in the city can unite and move to the countryside, to the shore of a picturesque lake or to go to the forest with its beautiful scenery. Take with you a simple, healthy food, the best fruits and grains and settle under the canopy of trees or under the heavenly tent. The ride, the hassle and the surroundings will contribute to the appetite, and everyone can enjoy a meal that the kings would also envy.
In such cases, adults and children will feel free from worries, labor and problems. Communicating with children, parents should, in a sense, become children themselves, doing everything in their power to give pleasure to their sons and daughters. Let the whole day be devoted to rest. Exercises in the open air are very useful for the health of everyone who works indoors and leads a sedentary lifestyle. To all who can, it is necessary to strive for active rest. Nothing will be lost, but much has been acquired. People will start working renewed, their body will be prepared to resist disease.
The Lord God, who planted majestic trees, dressed them in lush foliage and created for us bright and beautiful flowers, Whose skillful hand and wonderful work we see in the whole realm of nature, does not want to make us unhappy; on the contrary, He wants us to be not indifferent to the beauty around us and enjoy it. He wants us to be happy, looking at the charm of nature created by Him.
Parents too often encourage children’s love for amusement. They agree with the generally accepted opinion that the early years of life for children and young people should be wasted on idleness, on indulging in entertainment and foolish indulgence. So children and young people have a taste for exciting pleasures, they get used to finding joy in spectacular representations, and they have an open dislike for imperceptible, but necessary everyday duties.
Young children love communication. Usually they can not remain alone for long, and the mother must understand that in most cases, when the children are in the house or in the room, its place is next to them. Then she can look after them, eliminate the arising disagreements, correct bad habits, stop the manifestations of selfishness and guide their minds in the right direction. What pleases children can, in their opinion, please mothers, and it is quite natural for them to address her with their small problems. And the mother should not hurt the heart of an impressionable child with an indifferent attitude toward matters, or refusal to delve into such insignificant deeds. What can seem like a mere trifle to a mother is very important for children. And the word of instruction or warning, said in time, is often very valuable.
Instead of sending children away from themselves so that they do not disturb the noise and do not bother with endless requests, the mother must realize that the best use of the time of communication is to console the sorrows and take their restless, lively minds with some fun games or simple tasks, delivering them joy. The mother will be generously rewarded for her efforts and the time she spent creating entertainment for her children.
With the current state of society, it is not easy for parents to restrain and instruct their children. Teenagers are often irritated by restrictions, they want to do their own way, go and come when they like. Children between the ages of ten and eighteen are particularly inclined to think that there is nothing wrong with spending time with a peer group. But the wise old parents know the peculiarities of their children’s character and the influence of such situations on their minds. Wishing good for children, they must protect them.
The secret of saving your children is in making your home cozy and attractive. Permissiveness on the part of parents will not tie the children to the house. Encourage them and find incentives that draw children to the home and help them understand that their parents care about them.
What can I offer my children for a healthy holiday?
38. Award here and in the future
A real Christian home is something like a heavenly life. Eleanor Doan
If the parents give the children proper education, they will gladly see the fruits of their painstaking work in the characters of children. They do the supreme service for God.
Encourage your children to have an intellectual culture and give them moral education. Strengthen their young minds with firm, pure principles. While you have the opportunity, lay the foundation for the formation of noble characters. Your work will be rewarded a hundredfold.
Heaven and earth are now no further apart than on the night when the shepherds heard angelic singing in the fields near Bethlehem. Today, God shows the same concern for people, just as when ordinary people engaged in ordinary labor met angels in broad daylight and talked with heavenly messengers in vineyards and in the fields. In our everyday everyday affairs, the sky can be near us.
Life on earth is the beginning of life in heaven; upbringing on earth is teaching the principles of heaven; work here is training for work there. What we are now, what our character and desires are, can serve as a true omen of what we will be like.
The labor of wise parents will never be recognized by the world, but when the books of records in heaven reveal themselves, their work will appear as God sees it, and will be rewarded to people and angels. Then it will be revealed how light the world was to every child, brought up by his faithful parents. Working on the characters of these children cost tears, anxiety and sleepless nights, but parents performed it wisely and honestly, and they will hear approval from the Lord.
Children need to be taught that when they open their minds for pure and glorious thoughts and do good, useful things, they put on beautiful clothes of God’s character. This outfit will make them beautiful and loved here, and in the future will provide them with access to the Tsar’s palace. His promise says: “They will walk with me in white robes, for they are worthy.”
The best house The
Garden of Eden still remained on the ground for a long time after a person was forbidden to walk through his wonderful places. The fallen human race was allowed to look at an innocent house for a long time, the access to which was blocked by angels who guarded it. In the gates of paradise, guarded by the cherub, the glory of God was revealed. Here Adam and his sons came to worship God. Here they renewed their covenants of obedience to the law, for the violation of which Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden. When waves of lawlessness overwhelmed the world and the wickedness of people determined their death from the waters of the flood, the hand that planted Eden took it from the earth. But in the final restoration, when a “new heaven and a new earth” is formed (Rev. 21: 1), the Garden of Eden will be adorned even more admirably than at the beginning.
Then, in those who kept God’s commandments, they will breathe the power of immortality under the tree of life; and throughout the endless centuries, the inhabitants of sinless worlds will see in this enchanting garden an example of the perfect work of God’s creation, untouched by the curse of sin, an example of what the whole earth could become if man fulfilled the glorious plan of the Creator.
The great plan of redemption completely restores God’s favor to the world. Everything that was lost because of sin will be restored. Not only man, but also the earth was redeemed, to be an eternal abode obedient to God. For six thousand years, Satan fought for the possession of the land. Now the original God’s plan for His creation will be realized.
The fear of presenting a future heritage too material has prompted many to interpret exclusively the spiritual truths that help us look at our heritage as a real home. Christ assured His disciples that He is going to prepare for them abodes in the Father’s house. Human language is not able to describe the reward of the righteous. It will be understood only by those who see it. A limited mind can not comprehend the glory of God’s paradise.
In the Bible, the heritage of the saved is called a country. There the heavenly Shepherd leads His flock to the life-giving water springs. The tree of life brings forth its fruit every month, and the leaves of the tree serve to heal peoples. There are flowing crystal clear streams that never dry out. On their banks grow trees with dense crowns. There, wide plains turn into beautiful hills and mountains, raising high peaks to the sky. In these peaceful plains, near the living streams, the people of God, who so long wandered, will find their shelter.
Everything that is incomprehensible to us in God’s providence will become clear in the world to come. Difficult to understand will get an explanation. The mysteries of grace will be revealed to us. Where our limited minds are confused and see some unfulfilled hopes, we will see perfect and beautiful harmony. We will understand that unlimited love controlled the circumstances of life, which seemed so difficult. Then we will feel the tender care of the One who does everything for our good.
We have a heavenly home. Christ, who loved us so much that he gave his life for us, built a city for us. In God’s City there will be no sorrow. There will never be mournful shrieks and lamentations of unfulfilled hopes. Soon the clothes of grief and sorrow will be replaced with wedding garments.
Let all that is beautiful in our earthly house remind us of a crystal clear river and green fields, of spreading trees and living sources, of a shining city – about this world of beauty that no artist can represent and no one can describe. “The eye did not see, the ear did not hear, and it did not come to the man’s heart that God prepared for those who love Him” ??(1 Corinthians 2: 9).
39. A new life
The eye did not see, the ear did not hear, and the person that God had prepared for those who loved Him did not come to the heart. The Apostle Paul
Do you think that we will not learn anything there? We do not have the faintest idea of ??what will then open up before us. God will reveal to us the beauty and glory of nature. He will show who He is to us and who we are for Him. Truths that we can not cognize now because of our limitations, we will learn in the future. The sky is a school; its field of study is the Universe; her Teacher is the Infinite God.
Our eyes will behold the beautiful world when we look to the glory of heaven.
Before the saved, all the treasures of the universe will be opened for study. Released from the bonds of death, they will set out on an indefatigable flight to distant worlds-worlds that have followed the human grief with deep pain and the most joyful hymns have welcomed the appeal of every soul. With indescribable pleasure, the undead creatures share their joy and wisdom with the children of the Earth. They will share with them the treasures of their knowledge and wisdom acquired by them during the endless centuries due to the contemplation of the creative power of God. With an indefatigable gaze, the saved will observe the glory of creation – the suns, constellations, celestial systems that rotate in their orbits around the throne of God. On the whole creation, from the smallest to the greatest, the name of the Creator is inscribed, and everything reveals the riches of His power.
And quickly departing into eternity, will bring ever greater knowledge about the glory of God and Christ. And as knowledge increases, love, blessing and happiness will increase. The more people become aware of God, the more they will admire His character.
There will develop every ability, expand and grow every talent and talent. There will be accomplished the most grandiose, lofty aspirations; there will be achieved the most noble goals. And new, unconquered peaks will appear, new unexplored miracles, unknown truths, new questions and objects, calling for movement all the powers of mind, soul and body, will appear.
I urge you to prepare for the coming of Christ in the clouds of heaven. Know by experience what it means to maintain close fellowship with Christ. Prepare for that, when Christ comes, you would be among those who will meet Him in peace.
Do I want to live on the New Earth?
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