In fact, they are, of course, much more than the author of popular books on psychology has singled out – Harry Chapman. But if you do not really remember a single thing, if you have thoroughly forgotten what you once knew, then these five will seem to you a real treasure.
I get the impression that we live on the planet of the deaf …
No, at first we all speak loudly on one common for all language of love – in the language of youthful hormones and pheromones whipping over the edge. But “the plumber came”, we scooped out all the water and began to live, live peacefully. And here it is found that:
True affection can not be confused with Nothing. And she’s quiet …
Yes, I think to myself: so quiet that, at times, you will not hear. Louder! I want to shout. Louder, what are you mumbling about ?! It seems to you that your tenderness is “quiet”, but for me, so it’s not even there at all.
There is such an anecdote. The wife says to her husband with resentment: “You would even kiss me at a meeting! ..” Husband: “Darling, after twenty years together lived – why these orgies?”
And indeed, the husband can be understood. Twenty co-lived years, the children grew up, I did not leave you, you do not change, I bring money to the house, a plate with mine – what evidence of love do you still need ?! Why these orgies …
This is exactly how psychologically illiterate people reason. They bark loudly in their language of love, and our needs … they wanted to sneeze. Approximately, this is how our pussy behaves, which brings us to a snow-white bed a freshly strangled rat – on, my hostess, I do not mind, you’re good … That’s how daddies behave, a half-year-old child thrust a piece of dried fish into his mouth – eat son, grow peasant, soon and beer poured …
If we want to live happily ever after, then the orgies of manifestations of love we need. Otherwise, there will be other orgy – scandal orgy and hysteria. After all, paints need to be added to life in some way? And negative colors, they are always at hand, they do not need to run at night to the store, on snowdrifts, to get from speculators …
The first language of love. Compliments and praise
The first language is words and especially the intonation of words. This is for those who “love the ears.” Not necessarily – women. Rather, those who love long, many and tastefully – once-go-va-riv-vat. Who has a rich speech. Who reads a lot. Who chatters for hours on the phone and loves the phrase: “What do you mean by that?”. Who distinguishes between text and subtext. Who likes to leave comments … Who emphasizes lines in books in pencil and (oh, horror!) Also writes them out in a special notebook.
What do you think, what would be the best gift for such a person? Correctly – carefully weighed, selected Words of Love.
The second language of love. Time
This is the time you are willing to spend on a loved one. Time spent together and not necessarily qualitatively conducted.
Some of you do not need anything – just come and spend your time with them. Such here they have – the language of love … I know, many this is very annoying. Some do not endure idleness, aimless walking through the streets or even worse – the seats in the house. Such people should try to understand: the most beautiful day can be filled not by events, but … by each other. Here the window burns, Where again they do not sleep. Maybe they drink wine, Maybe they’re just sitting there. Maybe just two people will not separate the two.
In every house, friend, there is a window like this.
The third language of love. Gifts of Santa Claus. Signs and symbols
“Dad brought me a real saw!”. The car of happiness … In this language of love, those in whom the hunter or the collector are dozing are talking. These people like to decorate themselves with trophies. As soon as you come to them, they sniff your bags and pockets: “What did you bring?”. They love you through the things that you leave to them. And this is not necessarily diamonds and mink coats! Anything – just to be able to rotate in your hands, admire your eyes and demonstrate to friends. Or mourn for yourself in many years … Please note: does your favorite person store theater tickets ten years ago? If yes, then he speaks this language of love. Such people holy follow the commandment: do not come to visit with empty hands, and the guests are expected the same. Empty hands for them, a symbol of indifference, an empty heart.
The fourth language of love
Specific cases. Help. It is very difficult for Romantics and whirrs in the clouds with such loved ones. You give them – movie tickets, a bouquet of flowers and a mountain of compliments, and they to you: “Here, there is nobody to cut grapes!”. You give them a ride on a friend’s yacht, and they tell you: “The leg at the table is staggering, the mirror hangs.”
But know: if you at least once in your life roll up your sleeves, and spend the day on all fours, repairing the toilet bowl, they will remember this all your life. And when they remember this happiest episode from their history, tears will flow down their cheeks … “Wow, how he loved me!”
The fifth language of love. Physical touch
Weasel. With such people – the easiest. But it’s easier for those for whom it’s not a burden. Let’s put it this way: for two lovers, for whom the language of physical touches is native, to live the most amazing. They do not need anything from the world, in order to revel in shared happiness.
And if the soul asks everything at once?
But this can not be. If it is, then you just have not received anything for a long time. You and the toilet flow, and the mirror is not hung, and compliments to you are told only by the watchman, and physical touches you experience only in the bus, during peak hours.
How can we know what is most important to us, beloved ones? Do you remember what you are ready to do for your loved one when you are in a very good mood? What did you do most often when you intended to give it away ? What do you have best of all?
That’s what you need to wait for in return. We always give others something that we badly need ourselves …
So, if you have a loved one, explain it in simple, intelligible words: what exactly do you consider to be the most genuine expression of love. And ask him to do the same in turn – to explain to you. This, perhaps, is the only chance to save the marriage.