Your attention is presented to 36 lessons that will help to abandon bad habits and form useful ones.
Small changes quickly become the norm. Imagine you were in another country. Unfamiliar language, unusual food, strangers around. Adapt to this immediately very difficult. But to small changes you quickly get used, they almost imperceptibly and “painlessly” become the norm.
It’s easier to start small. Cardinal changes require a lot of effort (constant self-control). Therefore, it’s better to start small. So, the desire to develop a habit of going to a gym can remain a concept. But it will be easier to implement if you start with a few exercises a day.
Small changes are easier to adhere to. Setting yourself a “global” task (simulator every day for 30 minutes at least), you may be zealously striving for them … the first time. But with the accumulation of daily fatigue, enthusiasm will subside.
Habits are caused by triggers.
A trigger is a collection of conditions that trigger an action. For example, some people come to work, first of all, include a computer, and then automatically check the mail. In this case, turning on the computer is a trigger, and checking mail is a habit. It turns out something like “reflex” – turned on the computer, so you need to check the mail.
Habits with unstable or multiple triggers are stronger. For example, smoking provokes, as a rule, several triggers (stress, alcohol, the desire to “talk”). It is difficult to get rid of this habit. It’s also not easy to not get angry with criticism. The latter is a fickle trigger, you do not know at what point it will “catch you”.
First, accustom yourself to simple rituals. Start with innovations that require only a few minutes a day and are popular with you (for example, the habit of eating healthy can begin with a simple ritual to drink in the morning freshly squeezed juice). Simple rituals train the ability to follow habits and increase confidence in oneself.
Trust in yourself. If a person promises something and does not fulfill, will this undermine your confidence in him? Certainly, yes. And if a person always keeps a word, does your respect for him increase? Also with promises to yourself. If you “break”, vowing not to eat after 18 hours, the limit of confidence in yourself gradually melts. And on the contrary: the more often you prove that you are able to keep your promises to yourself, the greater the level of “self-confidence” and the chance to follow complex habits.
Water grinds the stone. We want everything at once. Therefore, people often introduce 10 new habits into everyday life, believing that life will quickly become better. But in the end, they can not control all innovations and, failing on one, throw the rest. It is better to change life a little bit, not hurrying up, but, after a while, you will see to what global changes these steps have led.
It does not matter what to change first. Life is not a sprint. Life is a marathon. Remember this when you puzzle over the dilemma: what is more important to run in the morning or quit smoking. In fact, it does not matter with what habit to start. In the end, you will reach each of them. But you should start with the one that causes less resistance.
Energy and sleep. The first is directly proportional to the second. If you do not get enough sleep, you do not have enough energy to follow the intended rituals. The more you get tired, the more often you’ll be “hacking” (I had a very difficult day – today you can not learn new foreign words).
The collapse of the usual routine = “stall”. People often refuse to follow certain habits during the weekends, during the holidays, when guests suddenly come. In a word, when their usual daily routine collapses. This is due either to the fact that the trigger, which triggers the mechanism of following the habit, does not work (for example, you meditate after the morning coffee, and on a visit, where you are, this drink is preferred by tea); either because there is no time/effort to follow it due to the change of the regime (on holiday you went around 17 sights on foot, is it still necessary to push it off after that?).
Forewarned is forearmed. Another common reason for not doing one or another of the habits is the inability to predict the difficulties that will arise on the way. For example, you decided to eat less sweet and go to visit. You must foresee that there will be many temptations on the table, and take care of food for yourself. Otherwise, the “breakdown” is almost inevitable.
Keep track of your thoughts. We all talk to ourselves. This happens unconsciously, and this is normal. It’s bad if you have negative thoughts spinning in your head: “I can not”, “it’s too difficult,” “why do I limit myself in some way?”, Etc. Watch what you say to yourself, and, catching yourself in an alarmist mood, drive them away.
Look at the root, do not go on about the gusts. Next time, when you want to smoke, or to eat overnight or “to score” for training, try not to stretch straight to the lighter or the handle of the refrigerator. Stop and think about what this desire provoked? So or is it strong, as it seems? Taking a pause and digging into yourself, it will be easier for you to resist the temptation.
Motivation Compare: “I do not eat fat to lose excess weight” and “I do not eat fat to lose weight and live a long healthy life.” Which of these motives is stronger, in your opinion? If a person simply wants to lose weight (and at the same time he does not have problems in his personal life or career), it will be difficult for him to follow the habits of dietary nutrition. But if he knows that his health and longevity depend on it, his motivation will be much more powerful. Formulate your motivation and write it down on paper. Re-read whenever temptation grabs you.
Feedback. What’s easier: lying on the couch or playing sports? Of course the first. Therefore, this activity causes inside a positive feedback. To successfully follow the habit, it is necessary to form a positive feedback on it. This will help responsibility. For example, invite a friend to run together (appointed a meeting – took obligations). In doing so, you will enjoy the communication and, as a consequence, positive feedback from doing the habit.
A match is a catalyst for progress. Let your friends catch themselves “weakly.” A weak whole week is not sugar? A weak 6 weeks to go to the gym? Having thrown someone (and in truth to himself) a challenge, it’s easier to teach oneself to follow one or another habit. In addition, the competitions also stimulate responsibility and positive feedback.
No concessions. “From one cake nothing will be” – following the logic of “just a little more and no more,” you practically capitulate to your weaknesses. For the “one-time” will be another, and the third, and … When making exceptions, you form thinking that indulgence is normal (not every day the same ?!). But in fact, this undermines self-confidence.
The habit is a reward, not a punishment. Do not take the introduction of new, positive, habits as hard work. If you treat training as a service, you get negative feedback and you will not be enough for a long time. But if you find a way to have fun (for example, a sport that you really like), the feedback will be positive. Change your attitude to habits, because they are a reward, not a punishment.
The more new habits at the same time, the higher the probability of Safelite. Conduct an experiment: try to bring into life at once 5 new habits. Check how long you will last. It is much easier to follow one new ritual than several. It is more rational to focus on one habit, and when its execution comes to automaticity, move on to the next.
Distractions are inevitable. Like everything new, at first, the following of this or that habit inspires you-you are full of energy. But sooner or later self-control falls. You do not have to think about habits 24 hours a day, you just need to remember them once a day. Departures from the intended goal are inevitable, but if you missed training several times, do not throw the sport. Reconsider your motivation and again focus on your goal.
Keep a blog. Publicity is perfectly disciplined. If you announce in a blog or social network that you have dieted and promise to post photos every two weeks, standing on the scales, you will have responsibility. At the end, who wants to hit the dirt in front of friends?
Learn from the mistakes. Failures are inevitable, and one must be able to learn from them. Every person is different. What works for some may not be suitable for others. And if you do not try, you will not know what methods are effective for you. Mistakes are a way of knowing yourself. If you make mistakes, you will learn something new, and therefore, become better.
The ratio determines the result. As already mentioned, everyone “breaks”. The question is, what do they do after? Having failed, people are prone to self-flagellation. This is normal. However, guilt often hinders learning and moving forward. Remember: people who succeed in forming useful habits are not those who are not mistaken, but those who, stumbling, find the strength to continue to change their lives.
Adapt or die. Habits learn to adapt and adapt. Do you forget to perform this or that ritual? Think what’s wrong, and correct it. Do not like its implementation? Think about the cause of dislike, and remove it. Thought-parasites are swarming in my head (“Why do I need all this?”), Get rid of them.
Get support. To whom do you go when it’s hard for you? Whose opinion is important to you? The support of these people is very important. A spouse, a best friend, a colleague at work – someone must tell you in a minute when you are ready to send everything to hell: “Hold on! At you, all will turn out! ».
Do not limit yourself. Often people can be heard: “I can not give up sugar!”, “I can not live without meat!”. And they really can not … while they continue to think so. In fact, there is nothing you can not. But if you continue to believe that your life depends on the sweet, you really can not give up the pirozhki.
Environment. She must help you. Decided to abandon the sweet? Do not buy it. And tell your relatives not to do this. Ask friends, do not smoke with you if you are fighting this addictive habit. You must create an environment that will help you change.
Minimize the “starting barriers”. Do not allow yourself to procrastinate. Going for a jog, you can think about how hard it will be, how long it will take, how it will be cold … And you can just lace up your running shoes and run. Get rid of mental barriers. To meditate, you just need to take a comfortable pose; to write – open a text editor.
Plan forced interruptions. There are situations when it is impossible to follow the planned plan. For example, you are leaving for a holiday in the village and there is no swimming pool, where you tried to walk daily during the last months. OK. But you should not take this as an excuse to quit. Clearly determine the date when you can return to this habit. And go back to it when this day comes.
Habits depend on the situation. As already mentioned, the execution of habits trigger triggers, which are often subject to the influence of the environment. Life is fast and dynamic. If your trigger for doing yoga, shower, then the phone call that came out when you just left the bathroom can get you out of the rut, switch to other things. For this, you need to be ready.
Best the enemy of the good. Paradoxical as it may seem, bad habits are often necessary for us. For someone, a cigarette is a way to relieve stress, and if you lose this “antidepressant”, you start to break on your loved ones. It is important to understand what causes a bad habit and try to find a healthier alternative.
Be kinder to yourself. To be angry at yourself, blame yourself when it does not work out – it does not help. At all. Do not forget to praise yourself even for micro-successes and regularly remind yourself that you are walking along a thorny road called “fight”, try to become happier, and this is how difficult it is.
Perfectionism is evil. People often strive for excellence, but this is a stick in the wheel of progress. If you find that you do not follow a habit, because the circumstances are not ideal (do not meditate, as there is no suitable music), forget about perfectionism and just do what you must. Better little and bad than nothing.
Tandem. Together (with a friend, colleague) it’s much easier to start a business or stick to certain habits. So, intending to go on a diet, ask the spouse (wife) to join. You will be surprised how much easier it will go.
Change of habits – a way of self-knowledge. Habits are not only a way to change lives, but also an instrument of self-knowledge. Working on the rooting of a habit in your life, you will learn a lot about yourself. What motivates you, how rational you are, what internal and external rewards are “working” for you, etc. In just a few months of changing habits, you will find out about yourself more than 10 years before. Thus, changing habits is useful, regardless of whether you succeed or not.