Just as the natural physical condition of a person is health and cheerfulness, his natural emotional state is peace and happiness.
The modern parable
A group of graduates of a prestigious university, successful, who made a remarkable career, came to visit their old professor. During the visit, the conversation turned to the work: graduates complained of numerous difficulties and life problems.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a coffee pot and a tray, filled with a variety of cups: porcelain, glass, plastic. Some were simple, others – exquisite and expensive.
When the graduates dismantled the cups, the professor said:
– Note that all the beautiful cups are dismantled, while the cheap ones are left. And although this approach is normal for you – want for yourself only the best, but this is the source of your problems and stresses. Understand that the cup itself will not make the coffee tasty. Most often it’s just expensive, but sometimes it even hides what we drink. In fact, you wanted coffee, not a cup. But deliberately chose the best cups, and then looked at who got what.
And now think: life is coffee, and work, money, position in society – cups. These are just tools to sustain life. The fact that we have a cup does not determine and does not change the quality of our existence. Sometimes, concentrating only on a cup, we forget to enjoy the taste of the coffee itself.
The happiest people are not those who have all the best, but those who extract all the best from what they have.
Every time you feel that you have lost peace of mind and happiness, this means one thing: you are doing something wrong or talking. Man is very complicated. Feelings of well-being and disease, pleasure and unhappiness can be caused by a myriad of factors. Your inner sense of happiness is the best indicator that tells you what to look for and what to avoid.
Failures in life are like pain for the body. They are sent to warn: what you are doing is not good for you.
Three Myths of Happiness
People do not listen to themselves for many reasons. For some reason, they refuse to use the sense of happiness as an indicator on which one can judge the events of life. There were three main myths about happiness, and each of us is to some extent subject to it.
The first myth. Happiness is something not deserved by you
The main thing is that it was for others, and yours will wait. Many people are adamant in their conviction that happiness can not be the goal of life: goals are one, and happiness is different, not everyone is given. They believe that it is more important to make others happy than oneself.
This opinion does not make sense. People are focused on happiness, focused on maintaining and increasing its level. We are arranged so that our emotions are affected by everything we do. Undeniable is the fact that you can not give people more than you have. Just as you can not give money to the poor, if you do not have it, you can not make someone happy if you are unhappy. The best way to guarantee happiness to others is to become happy yourself and then share it with them.
Somehow one wise man walked along the road, admiring the beauty of nature and eating all the joys of life. And suddenly he saw a hunched, unhappy man carrying a heavy burden.
“Why do you, a strange man, condemn yourself to these torments?” Asked the sage.
“I suffer for the sake of the happiness of my children and grandchildren,” the man answered with pride. – Suffered all: and great-grandfather for the sake of happiness of the grandfather, and the grandfather for the sake of happiness of the father, and the father for the sake of my happiness. And now it’s my turn to make the children and grandchildren happy.
– And who was happy in your family? The sage asked him.
– Well no. But I believe that my children or grandchildren will someday be happy! The unfortunate man answered sadly.
– Yes, the illiterate can not learn to read, and the mole is not destined to raise an eagle! The sage said quietly. – First you need to learn to be happy yourself. Then you will understand how to make children and grandchildren happy!
The second myth is closely related to the first: first of all we must serve others, not ourselves
There are many books that repeat this theme. They say that we justify life on earth only if we make someone happy. In some ways this is true, there is something in it.
It is true to the extent that serving others is one of the main goals of man. This is how we acquire the sense of significance, the meaning of existence. The realization that we are doing something for someone gives us a sense of freedom, we rise above boredom and routine. Paraphrasing R.L. Stevenson, you can say: “Everyone makes a living by serving someone.” However, the point is that the ministry should come from your overflow with happiness.
Yes, we must serve others, but we need to receive joy and satisfaction ourselves. One of the requirements of high self-esteem and confidence is the feeling that we are contributing to the world in which we live, that we give more than we take. Thus, we serve others to be more happy ourselves.
The third myth about happiness is that happiness should be what someone else represents it
Often we feel uncomfortable if we do not experience the joy of some event that, in the opinion of others, should make us happy. Many people allow parents to influence career choices, and as a result suffer. They want to please their loved ones, but they are not able to experience positive emotions from what they are doing.
Life and happiness resemble a buffet. If 100 people come to such a table and put themselves on the plates of the food they want, then each will have its own set of products. Even the husband and wife would return with plates full of completely different.
Happiness looks about the same. It is made up of many different components – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Each person requires a special combination of them to feel happy.
Happiness is in your hands! Be positive, active creators of your life. In the evening, think about what happened during the day, even a small trifle can raise your spirits, do not miss these moments!