Love is not something that is shown in a movie. It does not consist of only romantic dates and kisses under the moon. A happy relationship is work based on mutual respect and patience. But harmony is easy to break.
Below are 20 things that destroy relationships.
1. Attempts to change each other.
Ideal people do not exist. But do not confuse habits and traits. There are things that a person can not change in himself, no matter how much you reproach him. Therefore, do not confuse scattered around the house socks (habit) and lost for the fifth time in a season umbrella (absent-mindedness – a character trait).
2. Getting to know your parents
Well, if you are familiar with the parents of the second half (and she / he – with yours). Even better, when they are friends. Alas, this is not always the case. The son-in-law may not like the potential mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law does not impress the future mother-in-law, but this should not influence the relations within the couple. Do not be disrespectful to your choice and do not drag your loved one / loved ones to family dinners. Nothing but a spoiled mood, they do not promise.
3. Mobile phone
It’s amazing how quickly gadgets have turned from helpers into masters. Instead of enjoying communication with your beloved / loved ones, we chat on the phone, write SMS, sit on social networks. Of course, sometimes there are really important things, but, in the end, there is nothing more important than a loved one.
4. Public reproaches
Never, hear, never find out the relationship in public places. You will confuse not only your partner but others. No matter how the blood was boiling, no matter how much you wanted to dot the “i” here and now, do it only face to face.
Disagreements are inevitable. Sooner or later, any pair finds stumbling blocks. Moreover, this is normal. Quarrels are part of a happy relationship. But under one condition. Do not cross the line. Do not insult each other, do not put your resentment above the partner and remember that there is no conflict that can not be resolved by compromise.
No one can read your thoughts. Even a loved one. There is a problem? Tell me about it. Something I do not like? Speak. Expressing emotions, both positive and negative, is a pledge of psychological health.
Everyone is mistaken. And you too. Know how to forgive your loved ones. Do not hold resentment in yourself and do not save them. This will not only save your relationship but also help to avoid undesirable stress. Psychologists have long noticed that grievances have a negative impact on human health.
8. Not the time, the wrong place.
Discuss important issues in a suitable environment and at the right time. Do not start a conversation, for example, about moving, after a hard day’s work. One-sided answers, faceless nods – not a sign of indifference. Just your partner is tired, he does not have the strength to debate. Postpone the conversation for later.
Relationships suggest that you not only take but give. However, it should not be petty at the same time, especially in financial matters. Agree on the main thing: how to manage the economy, pay bills, allocate the budget. But do not allow phrases like: “At the weekend we go to the cinema, but you pay, since I paid last time.”
10. Turning a fly into an elephant
Nobody’s perfect. Did he forget to throw out the trash? Did she burn your shirt? Did he buy the wrong yogurt? She did not pay for the Internet? Believe me, it’s all so stupid that you do not even need your attention, let alone emotions. Do not inflate the elephant out of the fly. Instead, take a walk (at the same time throw the garbage). Laugh over the hole on your shirt, because it’s time to buy a new one. Try the “wrong” yogurt, maybe this taste is even better? Light the candles and spend a romantic evening without the Internet …
Love is built on trust. Trust your second half. Your loved one can (and should) have a personal space. Respect it. Do not read SMS, do not look in the e-mail, do not hurry in your pockets. All this hurts love and destroys relationships.
Someone thinks that jealousy is a sign of love, someone, that it is selfishness and disrespect. Shakespeare generally called jealousy a monster, self-conceiving and giving birth. In any case, both suffer from it: one is tormented by suspicions, the other is offended by mistrust. How to deal with this? Just be honest – do not give and do not look for reasons for jealousy.
13. Excessive peace of mind
Did you notice that when people find themselves a pair and they all turn out well, they start gaining weight? Harmony and tranquility in relationships – it’s wonderful. But this is not a reason to stop watching yourself. Do you want your partner to lose interest in you? Is not a loved one worthy to be proud of your beauty?
If you see that the problem has ripened (you can even say, grown-up) with your beloved / loved one, buy a subscription to the gym … for two.
Forget about your ex. They are in the past. In the present there is a new love. And it is easy to destroy it if you compare a partner with ex-passions.
15. Together 24 hours a day
“They are the perfect couple – they all do it together!” – whenever you hear such cries, you involuntarily sarcastically smile. How long will they be together? A person psycho-physiologically needs to be alone. Do not seek to spend every minute with your loved one. On the contrary, the less time to communicate, the more valuable it is.
Lying, like water, can erode the foundation of any, even the strongest union. Follow the principle of Dr. House – “everyone is lying” – you can, but not in communicating with your loved one. Speak honestly, if the soup is slightly under-salted or the dress you donated did not like, and learn to adequately perceive such truth in your address.
17. Lying to yourself
Sometimes relationships fail not because we are a partner, but because we are not honest enough. Is that the person with whom I want to meet old age? Do I want to give myself to this relationship? While you sincerely do not answer these questions yourself, you will not achieve harmony in the relationship.
The lower your self-esteem, the unprotected your partner feels. Do not let complexes generate questions: did I choose the person I chose (a)? that he (she) can give me, if he does not believe in his strength? The reverse is also true – run away from someone who self-affirms at your expense and makes you feel like a jerk.
What will happen next? What will your relationship lead to? You need to know exactly whether your goals match your partner’s plans. Perhaps he (she) is not at all tuned to a marriage in the near future, while you are already dreaming of a family. Do not hesitate to ask these questions and do not be afraid to break off a hopeless relationship.
20. Love as a reality
It is believed that they love not for something, they just love it. All right. But even this “medal” has a downside – love can not be taken for granted. Love is a gift of fate. Be grateful to the person who is next to you, for his feelings.