Dare to Lead Review: Brené Brown on Courage in Leadership
Key insight: Vulnerability is not weakness — it is the most accurate measure of courage. Leaders who dare to lead are those who have the courage to show up, be seen, and engage fully.
Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. (2018) by Brené Brown is a research-based exploration of what it means to be a courageous leader. Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston who spent two decades studying vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy, brings her signature blend of rigorous social science and accessible storytelling to the realm of leadership. The book is based on a two-year study of leaders across industries, from Fortune 500 executives to military officers to nonprofit directors. Brown identifies four skill sets that are teachable, observable, and measurable — the “four skill sets of daring leadership.”
The Four Skill Sets
1. Rumbling with Vulnerability. Brown’s central finding is that vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change. Leaders must be willing to have tough conversations, take risks, and admit when they do not have all the answers. “Rumbling” is Brown’s term for engaging with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It means having conversations that are awkward, uncomfortable, and necessary. Brown provides concrete tools for rumbling, including the “Square Squad” (a trusted group for honest feedback) and permission slips for giving yourself permission to be imperfect.
2. Living into Our Values. Daring leaders clarify their values and operationalize them — they do not just talk about integrity and courage; they define what those values look like in daily behaviors. Brown argues that most organizations have values that are aspirational posters rather than actual decision-making tools. She provides a values clarification exercise that helps leaders identify their top two values and design behaviors that evidence them. A leader who values “courage” should be able to name the specific behaviors that demonstrate courage in their context. Values without behaviors are just intentions.
3. Braving Trust. Brown breaks trust into seven elements — Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Nonjudgment, and Generosity (the BRAVING acronym). Leaders build trust by demonstrating these behaviors consistently, not by demanding loyalty or projecting confidence. Trust is built in small moments, not grand gestures. Each element of BRAVING can be assessed and strengthened independently. A trust breakdown in one area does not necessarily mean the whole relationship is broken — it means repair work is needed in that specific element.
4. Learning to Rise. Resilience after failure or disappointment is a teachable skill. Brown introduces “the rumble” as a process for getting back up after a setback. Leaders who learn to rise are those who can separate story from fact, reckon with emotion, and integrate their learning. The process involves three steps: the reckoning (recognizing emotion and offloading it), the rumble (getting curious about the story we are telling ourselves), and the revolution (writing a new narrative based on facts, not fear).
The Armory of Daring Leadership
Brown also explores what she calls the “armory” — the protective behaviors leaders use to shield themselves from vulnerability. These include foreboding joy (dreading the worst to protect ourselves from disappointment), perfectionism (a defense mechanism, not a growth mindset), numbing (avoiding difficult emotions), and the tendency to “slide into comparison” with others. Brown argues that these behaviors, while protective in the short term, ultimately prevent leaders from building the trust and connection that effective leadership requires. Recognizing these armor behaviors is the first step toward disarming them. Brown provides practical exercises for each type of armor, helping readers identify which protective behaviors they rely on most and what fears those behaviors are shielding.
Wholehearted Leadership
Brown introduces the concept of “wholeheartedness” — engaging with life and leadership from a place of worthiness rather than scarcity. Wholehearted leaders believe they are enough: good enough, smart enough, worthy enough. This does not mean they have no weaknesses; it means they do not derive their sense of worth from being perfect. The opposite of wholeheartedness is what Brown calls “the hustle” — the exhausting performance of pretending to be something you are not in order to earn approval. Wholehearted leaders create cultures where people can bring their full selves to work, which in turn drives engagement, creativity, and retention.
Shame and Empathy
Brown’s research on shame is one of the book’s most distinctive contributions. She defines shame as the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging — different from guilt, which is about behavior (“I did something bad”), while shame is about the self (“I am bad”). Daring leaders must develop shame resilience: the ability to recognize shame triggers, practice critical awareness of the shame messages they internalize, reach out to trusted others, and speak about their experiences with empathy. Brown argues that organizations with low shame resilience suffer from blame cultures, reduced innovation, and higher turnover. Leaders who model shame resilience create psychological safety for their teams. The distinction between shame and guilt is critical for leadership because organizations often unintentionally create shame cultures by equating mistakes with character flaws.
The Role of Play and Rest
Brown dedicates a chapter to the importance of play, rest, and creativity — elements that are often dismissed in high-performance leadership cultures. She cites research showing that play is essential for innovation, problem-solving, and neural development across the lifespan. Rest is not a reward for work; it is a prerequisite for sustainable performance. Leaders who model play and rest — who take vacations, have hobbies, and allow themselves to be unproductive — create permission for their teams to do the same. This section challenges the burnout culture of modern organizations and offers a more humane vision of leadership. Brown argues that the cultural equation equating exhaustion with productivity is not only false but destructive. The most effective leaders are not the ones who work the longest hours but the ones who recharge most effectively.
Daring Leadership in Practice
Brown provides numerous examples of daring leadership in action. One case study involves a technology company where the CEO began team meetings by sharing a recent failure and what she learned from it. This simple act of vulnerability transformed the meeting culture — within weeks, team members began admitting mistakes early rather than hiding them, which accelerated problem-solving and reduced the time wasted on covering up errors. Another example involves a school principal who replaced the traditional performance review system with a “rumble” format where teachers and administrators collaboratively examined what went wrong in difficult situations without assigning blame. These examples illustrate the practical difference between knowing about vulnerability conceptually and operationalizing it in real organizational settings.
Key Takeaways
- Courage is a collection of four skill sets that can be taught, measured, and learned.
- Vulnerability is the foundation — without it, there is no trust, no innovation, no real connection.
- Clear values must drive behavior — vague values produce vague decision-making.
- Trust is built in small moments — the BRAVING framework provides a concrete way to talk about and build trust.
- Resilience is a practice — learning to rise after a fall is a skill that can be strengthened.
- Play and rest are prerequisites for sustainability — leaders who model balance create permission for their teams to do the same.
Strengths and Weaknesses
Brown’s research is rigorous, and her writing is engaging. The BRAVING acronym provides a memorable framework for trust. The emphasis on vulnerability as strength rather than weakness is a refreshing counterpoint to traditional leadership models. However, some critics argue that the book is too long for its content and that the framework could be presented more succinctly. The emphasis on individual leadership may understate the importance of systemic factors in organizational culture. Still, Dare to Lead is an essential read for anyone in a leadership role seeking to build a culture of trust and courage. The book’s greatest strength may be its practical applicability — Brown provides scripts, exercises, and discussion questions that make the concepts immediately usable in real organizational settings. A leader finishing this book does not just understand vulnerability intellectually; they have a concrete path for putting it into practice.
FAQ
What is “rumbling with vulnerability”? Brown’s term for engaging with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It means having tough conversations and being willing to be uncomfortable.
What does BRAVING stand for? Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Nonjudgment, Generosity — the seven elements of trust.
Can leadership skills really be taught? Brown argues yes. The four skill sets of daring leadership are observable, measurable, and teachable.
How is this different from other leadership books? It is grounded in Brown’s original research on vulnerability, shame, and courage, rather than anecdotal wisdom.
What is “the rumble”? A structured process for getting back up after a setback — involving reckoning with emotion, getting curious about the story you are telling yourself, and rewriting a new narrative.
What is the difference between shame and guilt? Shame is “I am bad” (focused on self); guilt is “I did something bad” (focused on behavior). Guilt can be productive; shame is corrosive.
How do I start building shame resilience in my organization? Begin by modeling your own vulnerability as a leader — share a mistake you made and what you learned from it. Then create structured opportunities for teams to give feedback without fear of retribution.